Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Pool

JD and I are semi-professional people watchers. We love having a long layover while traveling so we can sit back and watch the people in the airport. But if people watching is your thing, there is no primer spot than at the neighborhood pool. Oh. Emm. Gee. There are so many wondrous things to see at the pool. Things that are uncouth, at the very least, anywhere else. Perhaps even a little illegal.

I take Beatrice and my younger brother to my in-law's pool about twice a week. While it is exhausting lugging a baby, floats, towels, snacks and toys each trip, I never tire of watching the people. People are much more uninhibited at the pool. Everyone is half naked, letting body parts see the light of day that are typically hidden under mock turtlenecks (my favorite) or denim jumpers. Like the two ladies pushing 60 that wore matching monokinis today. These ladies looked pretty good, however their swimsuits were way too big (maybe an attempt to be modest?). Instead of working those monokinis, their suits hung off of their rears and the piece in the front that connects the top to the bottom was so loose, it flapped with every step. But those grandmas were oblivious of their droopy drawers and totally confident. That kind of confidence only comes out at the pool. I so wish I took a picture.....

Imagine this but with your grandma wearing it. And yes, that's my body. 

And then there are the teenagers that grope and straddle each other in the deep end. Every time we go, they are at the 5 ft marker with their bodies tangled up, touching and kissing. I don't like public displays of affection but I cannot stop watching. It is like a train wreck. I don't really want to see what happens next, but I can't stop staring at them.

There are the mean mommies that yell and beat their children poolside. There is the old guy whose skin resembles a leather football and never moves out of his chair. JD and I joke that he's dead. It's not funny, I know. We are sick. But he's so old and he never, ever moves. There's the guy that I know from high school that is so obviously using steroids. He looks like a tiny Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then there are the kids. Oh this is my favorite part about the pool; watching the kids play. Big kids doing cannonballs, little kids taking off their swimsuits and peeing in the grass. The pool is just a big ol' bowl of inappropriateness. And I love it.

People watching just doesn't get better than this.

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