Tuesday, July 27, 2010

My Buddy

I had a play date today with some other stay at home moms and their babies. There was almost too much cuteness in one room to handle, but somehow we made it through without any spontaneous combustions. Because that's what happens when too much cuteness is packed into one room, in case you're wondering. The babies played (and pulled hair bows) while the mamas talked. It was a good time.

I love days like today. I think I just love a change of pace. While staying home all day with Beatrice is such a blessing, it can also be really boring. Our routine is pretty much, well, routine. Each day kind of feels like the day before. But I have never felt like I needed a break from her or my life. Maybe like a 30 minute break to relax and check my emails but that's what naps are for. My new mommy friends feel the same way. As tiring as it is to be with your baby all day, we really wouldn't want it any other way.

That got me thinking about how there are basically two different types of moms. The type that takes time for herself outside the home and the type that never leaves the house without the kids. Or something like that. I guess I'm more of the latter. It's not that I don't want to leave sometimes, I just really don't have anywhere to go without my goobie. Everyone keeps telling me to feel free to drop her off if I need a break, but I honestly never feel like that. Ever. And the times that I do leave her for a hair appointment, I miss her like crazy and hope that she's not doing anything cute without me. She's my little friend, my sidekick. The peanut butter to my jelly. The milk to my cookies. Actually I'm probably more the milk but you get my point. She's my buddy and I never want to leave her. And meeting mommy friends that are like this too make me feel a little bit more normal.

All I heard when Beatrice was born was to take the help when offered. I never took it. And even though I didn't have a clue what I was doing, I still didn't want the help. I wanted to be a first time mommy and learn things the hard way just like everyone else. Not that I didn't want advice, prayers and support. I just didn't want someone to come over and help me do it. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was pride. I think it was more of my desire to blaze my own trail and have the battle wounds to prove that I did this: I raised a baby. I wanted the experience of being a mom for the first time to be all mine. And as she continues to grow (along with my confidence in the job that I am doing), I never feel the need to be relieved from her.

Sometimes I envy the moms that go on romantic getaways with their husbands. But I know that we would hate being away from her and the getaway wouldn't be all that romantic. She is only little once and I don't want to miss a moment. So for the rest of her life now, she goes with me. And if I ever need a change of pace, I will just do the same thing we always do at someone else's house.

1 comment:

  1. I felt the same way when mine were babies. Now they are 7 and 5, and I do take more time for myself than I used to, but I still miss them!