I Had A Dream

I feel weird today. I had a dream that a female coworker of JD's sent him a provocative text message that I intercepted. I spent the majority of the dream playing detective to find out if anything was going on between the two of them and ultimately, told the hussy to back up off my man. Then I made out with the Ice Truck Killer . The dream rounded out with us attending a coupon seminar in wine country. Normal, right? So, needless to say, I am feeling a little weird today.

I hate how a dream can taint your whole day. If I have a bad dream, I spend a good part of the day trying to shake it off and convince myself that it's not real and has no place in my life. Who really wants to spend a day feeling like their husband is receiving boob text messages anyway? But the thing about dreams is, even the ridiculous ones can seem awfully real.

The even weirder thing about dreams is trying to figure out where they came from. Do I subconsciously really want to visit a nudist colony with my dead father (I had this dream right after he passed and after fighting back the barf, I made every effort to never think of him right before bed again. Ick). Do I really want to cheat on JD with my brother? Please tell me I'm not the only one who dreams sick things like this. Please. Pretty please? If dreams are really our subconscious' way of relaying what we really want/need/are saying, then what the heck is wrong with me?

I have a friend that analyzes every dream she has. She looks up the dream and calls a board meeting of friends to debate the meaning and discuss the possibilities of its relevance in her life. I think this is silly. Yes, I think dreams can be a very poignant way of speaking to a person, however dreaming about finding movie tickets in your purse does not clearly mean you will marry a missionary and live in a big house. Not to me anyway. I have only had three dreams in my life that shook me to my core where I woke up knowing that it was a message/warning from God Himself. Usually when I'm doing something really bad. But the Ice Truck Killer? What's the message from him? If you watch Dexter and know the story, I'm sure his presence in my dream has something to do with my feelings of abandonment from when my mother was massacred by drug lords during my childhood. Oh wait, that didn't happen. See, dreams are just a big, stupid mind trip that make you wonder what the heck is wrong with you. 


It's 3 o'clock and I'm just now feeling back to normal about the dream. I'm done stalking JD's facebook and cell phone records to see if Slutty McSlutterson has left any incriminating evidence of tawdry behavior. What? That's how I roll. See. Dreams are the mind's way to make you feel really messed up and ruin half of a perfectly good day. I can't wait for tonight!