I get this face when he feels that I have over-shared.
But not divulging everything is really hard. I'm a sharer. I like sharing our life, I like sharing my feelings. Of course there are certain boundaries I will never cross as a blogger (like writing about marital relations or posting the cutest naked hiney pics of my toddler), but there is a certain level of intimacy we share as a blogging community that makes it difficult to not talk/write to you all like we're old friends. People "know" us and want to know about our lives. I get emails and Facebook messages from readers wanting more info (hopefully) because they care and not because they are psychos. Psychos, kindly click the red X in the corner of your computer screen and never come back, thank you. Some degree of opening up is expected when you put yourself out there in blog land. I am trying to find the balance in that. Bear with me. And I'm totally in trouble for posting that picture of angry JD up there. Big trouble.
We are on track to move in 5 more weeks, however there is a small possibility that we may be delayed a few weeks. This has made planning our move impossible. We don't know when we will be moving so we can't schedule the movers, plan the nursery, or buy my plane ticket. Not knowing when to move is only the beginning of the fun. We cannot select our new insurance until JD starts his job and without a concrete start date, we can't select doctors. I have no idea where I am having this baby or who will be assisting me. We are at a complete stand still. Sounds wonderful, huh?
After nearly 6 months on the market with tons of activity and no offers, we decided to rent. 3 days after I placed the ad, we had 2 qualified applicants fighting over our place. We selected tenants and they are moving in August. I met them yesterday and they are awesome. We hugged. I feel a huge sense of peace about renting and having these tenants take care of our place for the next few years. I am stoked.
I have no idea where to have Penelope. With the insurance fiasco, we will be starting over with new coverage once JD begins his new job. That means we have to meet all of our deductibles anew. If we go in 5 weeks, I will be 35 weeks pregnant. If we are delayed, I will be further than that. We are debating whether or not it will be best for me to stay behind and have her here with plenty of help from family or me go on to California with JD and have her out there. Either way, it is going to be expensive and cost us a bazillion dollars. I have absolutely no peace with either scenario, not because of the finances, but because I want to be with JD. But I also want to be with our family. I want it all, okay. Beatrice will go wherever I go, of course.
The Bright Side
This move has been the biggest lesson in patience and waiting on God. We have absolutely no control at this point. We cannot make even the smallest of decisions because we don't have all of the information. All we know is that this season of our lives is moving forward as if it were being powered by something bigger than us. Some might say that would be the government, but I like to believe it is God. We have been praying that God open the right doors for us and make the crooked paths straight. While it is kind of scary, it is pretty liberating to just sit back and let God make the next move for us. I am nervous and excited, but ultimately have a hope that cannot be shaken that my God has plans to prosper us and make a way where there seems to be no way.
That about sums most of it up. We have been busy doing the things that we can, like changing banks and insurance companies to national branches. We have been spending lots of time with family and we have been doing our best to imagine ourselves completely settled and ready for Penelope, wherever we are.
Beatrice has been up to a lot too these days, but she deserves her own post. It has to do with tractors and skinny dipping and peepeeing on the potty. Can you hardly wait?