Coveting Is Bad, Mmkay?

I made a big mistake this morning. I did a little online browsing on a few of my favorite shops just to see what I'm missing out on this season. I thought it would be fun and give me something to look forward to after having this baby, but it just made me sad and really jealous of people who are wearing these cute things right now. If I had a huge shopping budget and a waist, this is what I would buy right now:

Photo courtesy of J. Crew.
I love everything about this dress, the color, the eyelet trim, the bohemian feel of it. I want to wear it with these. I love it so much, I'm tempted to buy it in my regular size and wear it when I'm my regular size again. All of you people currently living in your regular size can buy it here. Just don't wear it around me. This dress is like that high school crush I had on a certain beautiful football player that didn't know I existed, but my friends were forbidden to date him because that is friend law. If you are my true friend, you will not wear this around me. Or better yet, if you are my true friend, you will buy it for me.....yes, I like that idea very much.

Photo courtesy of J. Crew.
I love this dress almost as much as the first one. It screams flirty California fun, dontcha think? I think it is lovely and I'm digging the bright coral. Me likey, me likey a lot. Untrue friends, get yours here.

Photo courtesy of Anthropologie.
I want this shirt with all of my heart and soul. I mean, it has lemons on it. Lemons. I love lemons. And on a shirt? Is there anything more darling? I think not. I want it. I want it bad. Please, please be on sale in August after I have Penelope. I need a lemon shirt. For those like me who need lemon shirts, go here immediately. Just save a size 6 for me. Thank you.

Photo courtesy of J. Crew.
This dress completes me in the joking way that material objects offer false fulfillment. I love it. I want it. Buy it for me here.

Photo courtesy of J. Crew. 
I can be any size and wear these, but they would look so much better with stylish clothing. Something that doesn't exist at my current size and budget. JD, you can go here and purchase them as a gift for your wife who is feeling particularly unpretty right about now.

Photo courtesy of Sunglass Hut.
I asked for these for Mother's Day. I'm not sure why I didn't get them. JD says to get them. I think I'm going to get them. Be like me here.

Photo courtesy of Piperlime.
I love jeans. I have over 27 pairs in my closet. I need just 1 more. These will do.

Enough with this torture! All of you regular sized people, happy shopping. Think of me when tightening a belt or wearing a breezy sundress. I will be here wearing my maternity gauchos, dreaming of cute clothes.