Monday, June 6, 2011

Liars Go To Hell

When I was a kid, my mom told me that liars go to hell. This seems a little harsh to tell a small child, but in her defense, it is what the Bible says about liars. I'm assuming this was to make me think twice about lying. It worked because to this day, lying is the WORST thing I think a person can do. I never lie. I make a lot of mistakes, but lying is not one of them.

Okay, that was a lie. But I strive really, really hard to always be a beacon of truth. Sometimes I struggle. And sometimes I get caught in tiny, little untruths. And I realize that maybe I should heed my mother's warning. Lest hell awaits me - eek!

JD is a creature of habit. He likes what he likes and saying he is reluctant to try new things is a huge understatement. Getting the man to try brussel sprouts is nearly impossible, but convincing him to try a different brand of syrup is just unthinkable. You see, JD loves Aunt Jemima syrup. He loves waffles and pancakes with lots of Aunt Jemima, enough to lick off the plate when the food is gone like a small boy or dog would. Back off ladies, he's all mine. I want to buy real maple syrup. The kind that is harvested from trees in Vermont, but that stuff costs nearly $15 for a few measly ounces so it's the fake stuff for us.

A few months ago, I compared the generic store brand's fake syrup to the Aunt Jemima syrup. They were identical in every way, except in price. The store brand was half as much. So I did what any thrifty shopper would do: I bought the cheaper fake syrup. But then I remembered that there was no way that my husband would willingly eat it, let alone lick it off a plate if he knew that it wasn't Aunt Jemima. I was in quite the predicament. I came up with the perfect solution. I poured the store brand syrup into the empty Aunt Jemima bottle. And buried the impostor syrup bottle at the bottom of the trash to be sure I wouldn't be found out. And for nearly 6 months, we have lived in fake syrup harmony with JD none the wiser to my little deception.

Until today. In Matthew chapter 10, Jesus warns that what happens in the dark will come to the light. Basically, whatever you try to conceal will be found out. I always thought of this when politicians' infidelities made it to the news. I never thought about my syrup lie, but boy did I get found out! JD was helping me unload the millions of dollars of groceries I just bought when he discovered the generic syrup. He immediately looked at me and said, "this has to be for Beatrice because I know you don't expect me to eat this crap." While I am capable of switching syrup bottles around to save a few bucks, I cannot lie directly to someone's face. So I laughed. JD did not. "Honey, I have a confession....." and for the next few minutes, I disclosed the full details of my syrup fraud to him while he stood there, shaking his head back and forth, realizing the total betrayal he had endured at the hands of his wife. He was mad. He still is mad. Trust has been breached and we have a lot of work to do on our marriage. Not really, but it works for this story so just go with it. 

The good news is he is now fully aware that all fake syrup tastes the same (icky) and I can buy the generic stuff without the fear of getting caught. I have learned my lesson though. It is not worth it to lie or be untruthful to my spouse. Trust, even when it comes to syrup, is a vital component in marriage. And until we can afford the real Vermont stuff, I am just going to be honest with my family about the kind of syrup that we can afford to eat. Because lying is not worth it. And I don't want to go to hell over syrup.


  1. Laughing uncontrollably. Like brother, like sister - except for me, it's Mrs. Butterworths... :o)

  2. I did this with clam chowder once. He wasn't impressed, haha. =D