Hate

JD is off on Mondays. I'm usually gone running errands most of the day so to ensure that my hard working and even harder relaxing husband doesn't watch TV all day, I make him a chore list. Just a few things that need attention around the house to make him feel accomplished and me feel like things are getting done around here. While he mostly rolls his eyes at me when I remind him to finish his chores before I return, he gladly takes care of the "manly" household duties.

We have a patch of grass and concrete patio that make up our backyard. A very sinister occupant has taken up residence in this space. He first made his appearance on the front porch. I suppose he likes the shade and damp environment of the back because he won't leave. He lives under the downspout drain thingy. He likes to terrorize me by always being underfoot and changing his camouflage to a bright neon right as I'm about to step on him. I hate him.

For 2 weeks now, JD has had 2 items on his chore list: mow the backyard and remove the devil-frog. Just so we're clear, I never asked him to harm or murder the frog. I am not a heartless psycho, I just hate frogs. Last week when I returned home, JD reported that he took the frog far away to another area of our neighborhood. Finally. Peace in our home. Or at least our backyard.

We had a bunch of rain this week. Guess who showed up.

I freaked, naturally, and determined that this frog is more cunning and devilish than I originally thought. I immediately questioned my husband's integrity and asked if he really got rid of the frog in the first place. He promises he did. Hmmmph.

Beatrice loves him.

I still hate him.

Could you spare a click for this tortured frog hater?