Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Public Service Announcement

For the most part, I am generally a person who likes rules. I buckle up when I'm in a car, I make conscience efforts to drive the speed limit, I wait my turn in long lines, I don't litter, and I pay taxes. I enjoy a little structure and order in the world. But there is a twinge of rebel in me that wants to buck the system and break the rules. Only the really stupid rules, though. I eat too much dessert and I swim on a full stomach. I snack from the box of Cheez Its in the grocery store before I buy them. You can't make me not play ball in the house and some nights, I go to bed at an insanely late hour. Some rules beg to be broken. And most of the time, I happily oblige. Because I am mature...

The neighborhood pool has a strict swim diaper rule. I think this rule is stupid. I begrudgingly follow it though because I don't want to be a bad example to my daughter. And I don't want to get kicked out of the pool. Broken rules that get you kicked out of places are not meant to be broken and totally not worth it if you get banned from doing fun stuff. But when we're swimming anywhere but the neighborhood pool, I break this rule all the time. Swim diapers only hold the poo in, not the pee. So if your child has already pooped for the day, swimming in them is pointless. Pee is getting in the pool no matter what. Don't believe me? Try driving your child to the pool in a swim diaper and wonder what the wet car seat is all about. It's pee. From a diaper not meant to absorb wetness, hence the swimming part. You're welcome in advance. 

Today, I am glad I followed the rules. Beatrice and I swam for 2 hours before deciding we were hungry and tired. I came this close to stripping her down at the side of the pool, but something told me to take her to the ladies room. That something was thick and yellow and dripping down her leg. It was poop. POOP! In the pool. Well, almost in the pool. I did what any unprepared rebel of a rule breaker would do: I scooped her up and walked as fast as I could to the bathroom to figure out my next move. Not only am I rule breaker, I am the worst about not bringing the diaper bag with me in public places. I guess I have a lot of faith that my daughter will only poop at home. And now apparently, in the pool. The cleanup was disgusting and worse than I ever imagined. Trying to get wet poop off of a wet body without getting any on me or the bathroom is nearly impossible. I did the best that I could and we headed home, straight to the bath tub. We survived and no one got hurt, which is a plus when there's poop involved. Especially at the pool. Shudder. 

I learned something today. I learned that sometimes even the stupid rules are not meant to be broken. Rules are meant to protect us from harm and in today's case, poop. So please, follow the rules at the pool. No running, no diving (unless the deep end is really deep and you know you can nail the pike - kidding, kidding, don't dive), and always, for the love of humanity, PUT A SWIM DIAPER ON YOUR SMALL CHILDREN. It can save lives.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no! I am way too chicken to break that rule! I just picture Hunter pooping in the pool and them having to shut the pool down for several hours.