Thursday, July 7, 2011

I Was Born This Way

I have really long extremities. And digits. My arms, legs, toes, and fingers are really long. Abnormally long. I also have a long torso so I don't look ridiculous with hands dragging the floor or anything. My height sort of evens things out. The biggest problem I have with long body parts, besides finding clothes to fit, is banging them into things. Mostly walls, door frames, furniture, and other objects in my path. I am constantly hooking my toes on door frames, whacking my funny bone on the pantry door, and banging my elbows into walls. This has been a problem my whole life. And I'm sick of it.

It's not that I'm clumsy, although JD would have to disagree after watching me fall walking up the stairs a few times too many. My long arms and legs just have a mind of their own and when I think I've cleared a doorway, I forget to overcompensate for my monkey toes that unfailingly snag the woodwork leaving me doubled over with nothing but self-pity and pain. JD always asks me if I say bad words when this happens and I don't. I usually say a really exaggerated ouch or something. Although the s-word has escaped a few times when I really can't help it. The word just flies out. Something about my funny bone and that word are connected. I repent every single time. Promise. 

This elbow-whacking has been happening for years, so while I'm not happy about it, I am used to it. But it's worse now. Have I mentioned that I'm 8 months pregnant? Well, I am. And pregnancy tends to make one's center of gravity not so centered resulting in more clumsiness than usual. So not only do I have long arms to watch out for, I am wobbly to boot. These are hard times, hard indeed. But I am making it.

At least once a week, I ask God why he made my extremities so long. Did He have a bigger plan for my long-leggedness than me tripping over my own feet? Surely He did. There must me a purpose for this nonsense and pain. Sadly, my babies have the same ailment. Long arms, legs, toes, and fingers run in my family and we are all prone to hooking our extremities on everything. I guess it is something they are going to have to get used to. That and refraining from saying bad words. Because while a lifetime of funny bone injuries may be normal for them, the s-word will not be. Promise.

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