Our Bed Is Hoppin'

I don't know how to put this delicately so I'm just going to say it: sleeping with JD is a wild adventure. Not like THAT. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about actually sharing a bed and sleeping with him. He kicks, he punches, he screams, he yells, he whimpers, he snores, he cuddles with his whole body, he jerks around, he talks, he overtakes the bed. And that's on a good night.

I never knew any of this until we got married. He slowly started getting wilder and wilder as time went on. It began with a few random yelps and screams. I would wake him up to find out he was having a bad dream. Then the kicking and horizontal running in place started. He told me that he was involved in a police chase when that happens. Next came the punching, mumbling, whimpering, and occasional cursing in his sleep. Those responses were because of the murderers chasing him. Naturally. I have learned not to get too close to pointy body parts like knees and elbows or else I might get jabbed in the night. Or completely covered in legs and arms when he decides that he is cold or wants to cuddle. With his whole body.

In all fairness, I'm no peaceful slumberer either. I regularly dream that bugs and snakes are crawling on my pillow, causing me to jump up and wipe them off. This scares the police-chasing right out of JD. He wakes up to a wife frantically clawing at imaginary bugs while lunging out of the bed away from snakes. It is quite a scene. Needless to say, our bed is quite lively most nights.

And here you thought I was going to talk about sexytime. Pervs.