I Need A Shower

It's 2:30 in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas. I have not had a shower yet. My hair is a disgrace and my teeth are not brushed. If you came to my house right now, you would ask me if everything was alright because I never not get ready for the day. It's this stupid night shift JD is on. It has me all out of sorts and my hygiene is suffering because of it.

I hate waking up early but because I am an adult and I used to have a 9 - 5 job, I have grown accustomed to getting showered and dressed early in the day. After I had Beatrice and sleep became a precious commodity acquired whenever I could get it, I fell out of the habit of getting ready in the morning. I would nap until noon and then drink coffee until 3. Sometime before bed, I would shower and change clothes. This made for a depressed Aly. I need showers, clothes, make up and sunlight to feel like a productive person. If I go too long without any of those, I get very melancholy.

Because of JD's schedule, he sleeps during the day. He has made it very clear that each day my objective should be to ensure that he sleeps soundly for 8 solid hours, AKA I better be quiet and keep Beatrice quiet. So I have become a prisoner in our house. A silent, dirty, unkempt prisoner. Our shower is in the master bathroom. Drying my hair is out of the question while he is sleeping so I just wait until he wakes up. Yesterday I tried showering in Beatrice's bathroom but she nearly climbed into the tub with me. I spent more time trying to keep her out and dry than I did bathing myself. Plus I forgot to bring soap so I had to use her baby bubble bath which didn't make me feel very clean. I laugh in the face of mild, unscented soaps. So today, I just haven't showered. And I feel like crap.

I would totally leave the house everyday to alleviate the pressure of keeping a baby quiet but I can't leave without a shower. So our days consist of lots of shushing from me and lots of squealing from her. And lots of grumpy stomping downstairs from JD complaining that he hasn't slept all day because of us. Oh and you know what else? I'm eating ice cream out of the carton right now because that's what people who don't shower and wear their pajamas all day do. In 1 short week I have gone from Suzy Homemaker to a slob that internet shops all day (a big box from Pottery Barn came today, woo hoo!) and eats junk food while waiting for Oprah to come on for her husband to wake up so she can finally take a shower with real soap.