Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Living the Dream

JD and I often play the game "if you could have your dream job/car/house/body/wife/husband, what/who would it be?" Of course we always name each other for the latter question. Except for Fox News anchor women, he always chooses them over me. Not cool. This leads to fun conversations that reveal the true desires of the other's heart. It's fun, but mostly this game scares the crap out of me. I'm afraid of what JD's dream thing is. It could be something totally ridiculous or non-family friendly and then what? Am I supposed to say "well too bad for you, Sucka!" That's not appropriate wife-talk, in case you're wondering. For the sake of keeping a happy husband, I have to at least pretend that I'm on board with his dream to become a cheese procurer in a remote European village. Actually that's my if-we-lived-in-a-different-country-dream-job choice. Awesome huh?

Lucky for me, his dreams aren't too crazy. And he's pretty much living the job one. Halfway at least. The only scary part is the time away that his dream job requires. It sucks, but we can deal. Oh yeah and the life endangering nature of his work. That's a big con. The best part about semi-living his dream is that he is content. I like living with a contented man. And he likes living with a supportive wife who cheers him on in his dreams even when it means some hard stuff for me. Supporting his dreams has been a huge connecting point for us and has strengthened our marriage in ways that I never could have dreamed. I highly recommend it.

And supporting his means that he is eager to support mine. He tells me that as soon as I decide what mine are, he will support me in the same way. He likes being fair. But you know what, I am already living mine. I love being a stay at home mom and wife. I love my life. It is not glamorous and it oftentimes proves to be a thankless job 99% of the time, but it is what I was made for. I love it so much that I fear it won't last forever. I have a feeling that JD thinks staying home with Beatrice is a sacrifice for me. It is in a way, but a very financially driven way. Sure my budget might be less tight if I worked, but my dream has always been to stay home and raise my babies. And finding myself in the middle of that dream as my reality is overwhelming.

It's strange to find yourself doing what you love no matter how hard it is or how much of a sacrifice your loved ones make in your support. But for all of the struggles, we have a good life. JD and I are in love. For real, can't-get-enough-of-each-other love. Except when the cable is out for 4 days and we experience too much togetherness, then we love each other from afar. There may not always be milk in the fridge or steaks in the freezer, but there is always laughter in our house. And silliness. And hearts eager to know God. So I think we can stop playing our little game now. We have every thing we have ever dreamed of right here. Except that goat farm....

Photo by Sara Rose Photography.

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