Sweet Relief

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
That's me exhaling very exhausted and dramatic-like. 

I just put Beatrice to bed and I finally get to rest for a minute. Is it wrong to look forward to her bedtime as much as I do? I really, really enjoy knowing there are only x amount of minutes left until she goes down. The countdown usually begins around 5pm. That's when my back is aching and the fussiness starts to crawl under my skin. I can't wait for her bedtime.

I've been like this since the very beginning. As soon as it got close to her bedtime I would get a little giddy. Don't get me wrong, I love being with her but the days are LONG. By 7, stick a fork in me I'm done.

I don't really rest until I go to bed around 10. But I can do things without that hurried pace knowing that she is out until morning. Plus, I get to have a little me time. Usually I blog or crochet or watch a movie. I don't even need the me time doing things I like to do. I can have a zillion dishes to wash or loads of laundry to fold and still be happy about the baby-free time.

I have talked to other parents who have children without a set bedtime. That would not fly in my house, no sir. Since Beatrice was about 2 months old, we have been putting her down at 7:30. Occasionally she woke up once or twice during the night but the point was to get her used to a bedtime routine (stories, milkies, rock for a minute, bed). And most importantly, give JD and me some time together alone. And we needed a break from nonstop, all day baby care. Because taking care of an infant is exhausting.

I always wake up happy and eager to have another (long) day with her. Mostly because she's my baby and I love her but partly because I get that down time every night. I think a big reason I had such a hard time settling into motherhood (I'll save the details for another post) is because when she was brand new, I never had a break. She ate every 2 hours around the clock. Bedtimes were a mere far off fantasy. You can put a newborn down for the night at 7 but they will inevitably wake 45 minutes later and keep you awake for the next 5 hours just to mess with you. Babies are tricky like that.


Tonight I have a sink full of dirty dishes to wash and toys to pick up in the living room. But I'm glad to do my chores knowing that I have the next 12 hours to myself. Tomorrow will be here before I know it and a certain 16 pound girl will be rearing to go bright and early.