Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I said a really, really bad word yesterday. We were hanging curtains in the living room and I pinched my hand on the rod. Out of my mouth flew the filthiest word there is. JD just stood there stunned with his jaw dragging the ground while I covered my mouth in horror and disbelief that something so vile came forth from it. And then he repeated it. All day long. As if knowing that I'm capable of such filth wasn't punishment enough, my husband had to rub it in by reliving the moment over and over again.
I never curse. Those words are not in my vocabulary and I have a hard time hearing them come out of other people's mouths. I can't even watch movies with excessive cursing. I never heard a curse word in real life until the 7th grade. I didn't think real people talked like that. Being as repulsed as I am by dirty language, accidentally saying the worst one of all really bothered me.
I can be a little uptight about certain things. Cursing is a big one. When JD and I got married, if he ever let a bad word slip I would get very upset. I offered him little grace in the area because I thought if he just tried hard enough, those words would disappear from his vocabulary. But like yesterday with me, sometimes those words just flew out of his mouth without meaning for them to. Somewhere during our young marriage, I have learned to let it go (he very rarely uses bad language).
Of course he thinks it is hilarious that I said the mother of all bad words. He was horrified that his sweet, little church-going wife was capable of such rottenness. Where did it come from? I am still irked by it. The Bible says that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks," Luke 6:45. Surely that is not in my heart! I strive to walk the walk. This little blunder had me speechless. Thank God....can you imagine what other words I would have said if I kept talking?
I have come to realize that without God's grace in life's slip ups, we would be doomed. No matter how hard we try to do good, at the end of the day we are just humans. Imperfect, flawed humans in need of grace. So after the shock wore off, we laughed and joked that even I have imperfections and need God's grace. I'm going to lay off the home improvements for awhile. I just cannot be trusted to keep my mouth clean.