It's a good feeling to have nothing left to do but have a baby. But that's not the feeling I have right now. The feeling I have is more reminiscent of barfing. That's because I spend a good deal of time trying to figure out how we're going to do the thing we haven't done yet: learn how to care for and raise 2 kids at once. Simultaneously. At the same time. Without hurting anyone. Or worse, neglecting them.
To be honest, before we got pregnant it seemed like something that worked itself out. We knew plenty of folks with 2 or more kids and they managed to keep them fed, clothed, and alive. Surely we could do it too. But now, with only 5 days left before my due date, I am totally convinced that we may not be as capable as our friends. At least I don't think I am. All I can think about is how I'm going to be everything to 2 different people at the same time. Will I be able to care for my newborn and play with my toddler? Will I be able to maintain the laundry for 2 in cloth diapers? Will I be able to go anywhere without help again? Will I ever shower before breakfast again? Will I be able to spend one on one time with my firstborn once my second born is here? Will I be able to keep both safe? Will I be able to make each one feel special and loved and important? Is 1 of me enough to care for, love, and protect 2 little people?
The bottom line is, I don't have a clue how I'm going to manage 2 little ones at once. I have high hopes that this is one of those things that happens naturally once baby #2 is born. Like maybe while my heart is being multiplied with love for 2 babies, I'll grow more eyes, arms, and hands too. But invisible ones, so I won't look weird and creep people out. That is what happens, right? I might be totally screwed if not because of all the things I feel confident in, raising 2 kids at once is not high on the list. Lord help us all.