It's a good feeling to have nothing left to do but have a baby. But that's not the feeling I have right now. The feeling I have is more reminiscent of barfing. That's because I spend a good deal of time trying to figure out how we're going to do the thing we haven't done yet: learn how to care for and raise 2 kids at once. Simultaneously. At the same time. Without hurting anyone. Or worse, neglecting them.
To be honest, before we got pregnant it seemed like something that worked itself out. We knew plenty of folks with 2 or more kids and they managed to keep them fed, clothed, and alive. Surely we could do it too. But now, with only 5 days left before my due date, I am totally convinced that we may not be as capable as our friends. At least I don't think I am. All I can think about is how I'm going to be everything to 2 different people at the same time. Will I be able to care for my newborn and play with my toddler? Will I be able to maintain the laundry for 2 in cloth diapers? Will I be able to go anywhere without help again? Will I ever shower before breakfast again? Will I be able to spend one on one time with my firstborn once my second born is here? Will I be able to keep both safe? Will I be able to make each one feel special and loved and important? Is 1 of me enough to care for, love, and protect 2 little people?
The bottom line is, I don't have a clue how I'm going to manage 2 little ones at once. I have high hopes that this is one of those things that happens naturally once baby #2 is born. Like maybe while my heart is being multiplied with love for 2 babies, I'll grow more eyes, arms, and hands too. But invisible ones, so I won't look weird and creep people out. That is what happens, right? I might be totally screwed if not because of all the things I feel confident in, raising 2 kids at once is not high on the list. Lord help us all.
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Well, Aly, the answer to most of your questions is NO and You wont. Sadly, the truth is that one or the other will usually get the short end of the stick. One will be hungry while the other is being fed... one will be dirty while the other is being changed. You will have a REALLy hard time getting in and out of the car... being afraid one will get hurt while getting the other out. You will want to grow an extra pair of arms. It's not going to be easy.
ReplyDeleteBut... it gets easier every day. You learn new tricks. You become a bad@ss and grow eyes on the back of your head. You will survive, because you HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.
And, take comfort... you're already an awesome mom, so now you've just got to accomodate for the change and adjust.
I don't sugar coat things... so you can read all about my struggles, experience and joys on my blog. Having 2 is hard, but also so rewarding. Just wait till little Beatrice starts playing with Penelope... and when Penelope starts laughing at everything Beatrice does... then you'll know it was worth every minute.
Well, as a mom of three ages 3, 2, and 1- and another one coming in December- I can totally understand your concerns about having enough arms to accommodate everyone. I can say from experience that with each extra bundle of joy you learn to adapt mostly thru trial and error and definitely with ALOT of prayers sent up to God Almighty because it is just impossible to raise children without His help! The first few weeks will be a huge adjustment for everyone but you are just going to adore those moments when Beatrice loves on Penelope and she coos back. And then in that moment it's all worth it! So relax, sit back and let someone rub your feet while you enjoy these last few moments of pregnancy pamperization ;) I know I'm soaking it in while I can!
ReplyDeleteYou really do gain invisible arms and hands and legs and you learn how to use your feet for things other than walking. Good luck!! Just breathe and enjoy your last few days of a mama of one.
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