The Internet

I remember when we first got the internet. I was in middle school and before the invention of AOL, the most use our family computer got was for games of solitaire and the random school paper. We had dial up service that took approximately 10 minutes to connect to the highly censored world wide web that my parents allowed us to surf under strict supervision. It was beyond amazeballs. I could research things for school without weighing my backpack down with 20 library books. I could find long lost cousins and instant message them about forbidden boyfriends without the awareness that my mom could track my conversations and ground me for an entire summer because of my indiscretions. True story. The internet was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me.

Then the internet (and our connection to it) got better. I could shop at stores I only dreamed of. I could book a senior trip for 4 of my closest friends to Panama City Beach. I could schedule my entire college class schedule, all without leaving the comforts of my house. But the internet didn't stop there. It soon allowed me to link up and stay connected to friends via Facebook and MySpace. I could stalk ex-boyfriends, current boyfriends, and soon-to-be boyfriends. Now, the internet all but blows my mind. I manage our bank accounts online. I have access to every book in every language on the planet. I look up delicious recipes, taught myself to crochet and sew, and write and maintain the most important blog in history, all because the internet exists and I have access to it 24 hours a day. Can I get an amen on the blog thing? Anyone? 


Needless to say, the internet rocks my socks off and is a very important part of my everyday life. Besides the convenience of information and goods available at the click of a button, the internet is so important to me because it is how I stay connected to people. When Beatrice was a newborn and JD was out of state for several months on job training, online message boards and Skype kept me feeling like I was apart of the world instead of the secluded new mother that I was. I could log on day or night and feel like I was still apart of the big world out there without leaving the house for weeks. Newborns, public breast feeding, and wintry weather don't mix in my book. I really relied on the connection that the internet allowed me to have with other new moms and my husband. And the shopping. Lots of internet shopping occurred during those lonely months. I don't think I could have made it through without that.

My brother and sister in law do not have internet connection at their house. I'll give everyone a moment to compose themselves after that tidbit of unthinkable information.....Still can't believe it? Me either. I assure you they are normal. They drive cars instead of horse and buggies. They have indoor plumbing. They have master's degrees and doctorates. They have cable, BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET! I can't even comprehend it. It's lunacy!

We are moving in with them tomorrow. Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do. I need the internet. I want the internet. I love the internet. I have a smart phone with internet capabilities, but that's not even close to the awesomeness that is sitting down with my MacBook in my lap, tapping out witty blog posts and clever Facebook statuses while the glow from the screen lights my way. I have planned out daily trips to Starbucks to write blog posts and if I'm desperate enough, I may load Beatrice and my Mac in the car and drive close to other people's houses in hopes of jumping on their connections. I'm not even kidding. I don't kid about the internet. Ever. My need for it is intense and serious. And in less than 12 hours, I am quitting it cold turkey. I may not survive, y'all. The only way I see me coming out on the other side of this thing is with shopping. Real life, old school, drive-to-the-actual-store-and-buy-things shopping. Except I will have a newborn in 2 weeks and there is the whole public breast feeding thing and the extreme heat. Sigh. It is highly probable I will not survive 2 months without the internet.

Goodbye cruel, unfair world. I will check in when I can. If I survive.