Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Saving Lives, One Night At A Time

JD snores. Bad, but only when he's sleeping on his back. Which is about half the night. So it's a problem. My problem apparently because he sleeps just fine through all of that log sawing. I, however, do not. The solution is pretty simple. It involves a few quick jabs in his side and a "honey, roll over you're snoring" and voila, he rolls over and the snoring ceases. Except the next morning he gives me this annoying lecture on how I better not be messing with his sleep by waking him up, blah blah. He claims that if he's snoring, it means that he's sleeping really, really good. I, on the other hand, am not.

After some other weird sleep issues, JD was prompted to see a specialist for a sleep study. He had to sleep in a clinic while hooked up to a bunch of monitors. He said that it was awful, nurses kept coming in to check on him and reposition him if he moved something connected to him. There were lots of interruptions. He said it was much like a night at home with me. Hmmph. We got the results of his sleep study on Monday and he is normal except for some restless leg syndrome. Don't get me started on the freakin restless leg. Oy. That's a whole other blog post. The snoring, however is a sign of not breathing efficiently enough. His body is struggling for air so his nose morphs into a chainsaw and basically chops the air into tiny(er) particles to fit into his lungs. Or something like that. The doctor's prescription? HAVE HIS WIFE WAKE HIM UP! Or sew tennis balls into pockets on the back of his shirt which is just plain weird. Not to mention impossible since he sleeps shirtless. But I digress.

Basically, it all boils down to the fact that I have been saving his life every time I elbow him in the ribs.
JD is not thrilled about what the doctor said. He hates admitting that his wife is not wrong. He hates it so much that he can't even say that I'm right. Just "not wrong." Thankfully the snoring has not been an issue in a few days. The doctor also said to avoid sleeping on his back so he has been side sleeping, thus not snoring. I told him he should be able to sleep way sounder now knowing that I'm there to keep him alive and breathing no matter what. He is beyond thrilled. At least he's stopped with the lectures.


  1. Omg, I do this exact thing with my husband almost every night. Every night he wakes up just enough to give me a dirty look before rolling over. I am totally going to play on this and just tell him I am saving his life. =D

  2. haha just last night I had to jab matt for snoring. I said 'babe you're snoring' he said 'I am, well that sucks', then, 'I can smell it'...pretty sure he was still asleep...