The Post Where You All Hate Me

I, like most women I know, was a little worried about weight loss after having Beatrice. I gained a ton while pregnant and wasn't sure how my body would handle losing it all. Thankfully, it only took about 4 months to lose it all. Not that I would describe myself as vain, but I never felt good about myself when I carried extra weight. I was happy when I lost it relatively quickly and felt pretty sure that maintaining my pre-baby body would be easy enough.

I wasn't prepared however, for the additional weight loss once Beatrice became a toddler. Not that I'm complaining, but sheesh. I am down to wedding day weight which is kind of ridiculous. Wedding day weight borders on scary skinny and I don't know anyone who looks good at scary skinny. I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime around her first birthday, people started asking me if I had lost weight. I hadn't really noticed, but sure enough when I stepped on the scale I had dropped another 5 lbs.

I hadn't really done anything differently. Lord knows I haven't worked out in ages. I was eating the same and snacking the same. It didn't really make sense. So I started to pay attention to my daily habits. Was I burning more calories by watching House Hunters International instead of my beloved Real Housewives? Wouldn't that be so awesome? Something had to be contributing to my sudden weight loss.

And then it hit me. I may be eating the same foods, but I was barely eating an entire adult sized portion of any meal. Beatrice was starving me by eating all of my bites.

Mealtime at our house is hilarious and loud. Once we mention food or get plates and utensils ready, Beatrice started chirping her nonstop chorus of "bite, bite, bite, bite, buy-tah" until we give her bites. She endlessly asks for our bites regardless of the time or size of her last meal. She starts begging for buy-tahs from both of us, but always ends up in my lap grabbing at my plate. I am lucky to eat a few buy-tahs of my own before she has demanded the majority of my meal. I have tried to add more to my plate but that just means more for Beatrice. I have tried to hide and eat my own full meal in the pantry or knelt down in front of the sink, but she always finds me. If there is a buy-tah to be had, she will find it.

This happened to my mom when we were kids. I remember her barely eating anything. When I got older and asked her about it, she said that we ate all of her food. We wanted her chips, we wanted her hot dogs, we wanted her drinks. But we never, ever wanted her cheese sandwiches. Bread, cheese, and lots of Miracle Whip. Ick. Eventually, she stopped making plates for herself. She learned to eat our scraps instead. It was easier than fighting off little hands begging for more bites and a sure fire way to end up with something in her stomach every day. We starved our mom, and she just went along with it. Sorry, Mom. And now Beatrice is starving me. And since I know what is happening, it alarms me a little. Will it ever end? Will I be forced to eat at nap time and after she is in bed forever? Maybe this is why I don't bother cooking anymore.

I find it a little hilarious that every kid thinks their mom is holding out the good food for themselves. It's as if the exact same food tastes a little better if it comes off of Mom's plate. I keep assuring Beatrice that I will not withhold anything delicious from her, but she doesn't believe me. She wants to have buy-tahs to see for herself. All of them.