Friday, January 28, 2011

Let's Talk

I love a good conversation. Especially a good conversation over dinner. I think that's why I hated being single so much. I scrambled every night trying to find a companion to dine with. Mostly for the company, less about the food. Most nights though, I found myself eating steamed broccoli alone on the couch watching The Office and wishing I had someone to share the brilliant and clever things filling my head.

I was thrilled to get married and have a guaranteed conversationalist every night at dinner. Except JD worked the night shift and had dinner on the job many nights. That left me alone on the couch watching The Office with steamed broccoli. Why cook a real meal when you have no one to share it with? I hated this and looked forward to the day to have family meals around our table surrounded by talkative little ones and a loving husband, interested and hanging on to my every word.

I have a husband home for dinner every night and a talkative little one now, but most nights our dinners are a hustle of making plates, coaxing Beatrice to eat her bites and leave ours alone, all while the TV blares in the background. Conversation is nonexistent. At least the kind of conversations I dream of having are. We talk to Beatrice mostly. And on the rare occasion that she is happily eating quietly, JD and I "talk." Our conversations go something like this:

Aly: Loving Husband, what did you do today?
JD: Got my haircut.
Aly: Oh, what did Dwayne have to say?
JD: Not much.
Aly: Did you run into anyone we know at the salon?
JD: Yeah.
Aly: Oh that's nice. Who?
JD: Geri.
Aly: Do you love me?
JD: Yeah.

This drives me bonkers. I like details. I want to see the conversation come to life with each word. JD's conversations leave much to the imagination. Not to mention, it makes me feel weird that after almost 3 years of marriage, we have nothing to talk about. If the same conversation were reversed, it would go something like this:

JD: .........................
Aly: Do you want to know what I did today?
JD: Sure.
Aly: Well, I got my hair done and Dwayne was super nice and talked all about Lisa and the girls and did you know that are going to Disney next month? That would be super fun. Maybe one day we can take a family vacation to Disney. I saw Geri and Eric and the other guy that looks like Eric and ohmygosh, Shannon had these amazeballs truffles. I ate 2. Anyway, Dwayne tried a new color on my hair and I'm still deciding if I like it. What do you think? Too dark? Can you even tell? Honey? Honey, are you listening?
JD: Huh?
Aly: Dwayne says he is getting a new assistant and she used to work for him back in the day. Do you remember her? I wonder how Shannon will like her new job. Do you wonder if she'll like it? I remember how exciting and scary starting a new job is. Gosh, I bet she's excited. Honey? Are you watching the news through the reflection of the picture in the living room instead of listening to me?
JD: Yes dear. I mean no. What? That was a long story, honey. You lost me after you got your hair done.
Aly: Oh, well I wanted you to know all about my time at the salon. That's not even the whole story. Want to hear about who I saw at Starbucks and about shaky I feel after drinking coffee these days?
JD: Aly, I don't like stories. Just give me the facts. Are you done eating? Can we watch the news now?
Aly: Oh. Do you love me?
JD: Yeah.
Aly: Okay.

True story folks. Sigh. I get it. Men don't have a long attention span for a bunch of boring details that ultimately shape the entire conversation, but whatever. I suppose I will just have to wait to have those long, detailed conversations when our precious little ones are big enough to listen talk to us without making animal sounds. Or have dinner with my girlfriends. Yes, I do believe I'm on to something now.

1 comment:

  1. Or get some sister wives! JK. I totally hear ya about the lack of conversation, Jesse is the same way. He usually poltely listens to what I have to say and all my rambling, but rarely asks more questions or adds his own insight. Boo! What is wrong with these guys?!