Tuesday, January 10, 2012
My baby is a terrible sleeper. There, I said it. I don't like admitting it because it feels like a reflection of my mothering, like she doesn't sleep because of me or something I'm doing wrong. Also, I want to pretend we are not really up all night, every night. And admitting it seems like accepting it, and IT IS UNACCEPTABLE to be up this much. But, here I am, letting you all in on it because honestly, I need help.
It all went downhill when we moved. She was sleeping 7+ hours a night and taking really good naps up until we relocated to California. I don't know if it's the climate or the house or what, but sister girl hates to sleep. She much rather prefers to take catnaps on me all day and night long. This does not work for me. I need sleep. Consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep. Right now, I am up and down anywhere from 1 to 4 times a night for no apparent reason other than my baby likes to see me every couple of hours.
Naturally, this lack of sleep is taking its toll on JD and me. We are desperate and at the end of our rope, so to speak. We have tried everything to get this kid to stay asleep. We swaddle, we unswaddled, we rock, we let her cry, we put her in the bed, we put her in the swing, we hold her, we cover her with a blanket, we try white noise, we try total silence, we beg, we cry, we pray and nothing seems to change. Penelope is a terrible sleeper.
JD and I are not 100% sure if our family is complete yet. I always felt like we would have 1 more child, but 4 1/2 months of no sleep might be enough for me to say no more. I wish I were joking, but this child is wearing me out.
Penelope, I'm begging you to sleep through the night. Please, mama is tired and although I love my daily coffee IV, this much caffeine is not healthy for anyone.