Sister Wives

I have a new semi-obsession. Polygamy. Relax. I'm semi-obsessed with watching documentaries and TV shows about polygamy, NOT becoming a polygamist. It's less about obsession and more about being intrigued with lifestyles so completely different from my own. Kind of like my obsession with the Duggars. Except different because I actually want to be a Duggar. I don't want to be a polygamist. There needs to be clarity there.

There is a show on TLC that showcases a modern day polygamist family doing their thang in Utah. I'm totally hooked. The thing that intrigues me the most is that it seems like normal marriage stuff. Times 4. The wives are all doing their wife stuff (kids, household duties, cooking), the husband is always trying to keep a wife happy, and they have bills to pay. A million of them because hello, they are a huge freaking family. Nothing seems really wonderful about it for the women. They all seem to be jealous of the other women because despite all of the extra "help" they get around the house, OTHER WOMEN ARE SLEEPING WITH THEIR HUSBAND! Kody, the husband, seems to struggle with the arrangement too. He is never "off." Someone always needs him and he is always darting from one child/wife to another trying to give the attention they desperately crave. I guess he makes up for it by SLEEPING WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN. JD sees how the trade off is worth it.

The thing that draws me in each week is why this lifestyle is attractive. It is expensive. Only a very wealthy man could manage several households' expenses in addition to a bazillion kids. Polygamy is not a financially savvy move. Also, there doesn't seem to be this other worldly marital bliss happening. It seems like the same struggles every couple goes through multiplied by however many spouses are in the mix. Maybe it's the community of wives? I'm going with sex with multiple partners. Just saying. 

I get how having the household responsibilities split among wives would be nice. And the camaraderie. But I just can't wrap my mind around sharing my husband. Despite his couch potato nature and epic snoring, he's mine. I couldn't share. I won't. And those sister wives seem to struggle with the notion as well.

JD thinks converting is a novel idea. He has gone as far as suggesting sister wives to me. He tries to make his case a little more attractive by thinking up ways that I would benefit from having them. They could help with the cooking and cleaning and shopping. And the marital relations with MY HUSBAND. I'm good, honey. Thanks but no thanks. As lovely as the help around the house sounds, I will have to pass on the sister wives. I will however, continue to live the polygamist lifestyle vicariously through my TV. With MY husband.

I did tell JD that the only sister wife he was allowed to have was his sister. She could still help around the house and add to the whole community thing, but without the icky sharing of the sex. He was not amused. Neither was she. 


Disclaimer because someone may take this literally, this is an example of sarcasm. JD is about as interested in polygamy as he is in becoming a Duggar. (I wasn't kidding about that though. Duggars, I heart you. Call me). Also, if you are a polygamist and I have offended you, I apologize. I don't pretend to understand your lifestyle so this is mostly a joke meant to be harmless. And if you ARE a polygamist, dude, contact me. That would blow my mind. Carry on.