Biker

A few weeks ago, I saw an ad for a free used bike. We planned to get Beatrice one for her birthday, but this one looked brand new, plus it was FREE so I grabbed it. Beatrice was not as excited as I was about her new bike. Blue is her favorite color and this bike is pink and purple. I was so bummed that she didn't like it (and kind of mad that she was so ungrateful), but I knew that if I could get her on the bike, she would fall in love with it.

I was right. She loves her bike. We go for a ride every night after dinner. She is pretty cautious, never wanting to go too fast. Each day she gains a little more confidence though and peddles strong and steady until she's at a swift pace. She feels brave and big on her bike.

She falls almost everyday. The first few falls really freaked her out and she would shriek and scream and declare that she didn't want to ride her bike anymore. But now, after about 20 falls, she gets up, brushes herself off and says, "I'm okay. Sometimes people fall off of their bikes."

She talks to herself a lot while she rides. She says things like, "I'm going faster than the moon!" which is adorable, but makes no sense in regards to bike riding. Or she'll pretend we are strangers who meet on the sidewalk, riding bikes to work. She's a babysitter and I'm a mom with a baby named Penelope. I always say, "nice to meet you, lady. Enjoy your bike ride." She says, "nice to meet you, Aly. Your baby named Penelope is so cute. Goodbye."

She absolutely loves her bike. She tells me that it's perfect and that she wouldn't want a blue bike or any other bike. She loves her pink and purple one. I knew she would.

14

Today marks the 14th anniversary of my dad's death. 14 years is a long time to miss someone, but God heals all wounds and I am at peace with losing my father. I'm sad of course, but not devastated like I once was. There is joy in my pain, healing in my brokenness.

I've been sad all week thinking about death, but not my father's. Instead, I've cried for my sweet aunt and uncle who lost their only son, my cousin, last Friday. Blake's death ripped the band aid off all those raw moments that surround a sudden death. Honestly, I had forgotten how I felt 14 years ago when I learned of my dad's death. Hearing about Blake's passing opened the floodgates of emotion and I have been heartbroken all week for the loss of another family member and for the family left behind.

Being a person who has lost an immediate family member, I can say that I know a few things about dealing with death. First, it's so important that other people say how great your loved one was. I remember being so overwhelmed and feeling so blessed by all of the stories of how awesome my dad was. I knew he was awesome, but to hear his college classmates, high school teachers, and coworkers tell my brothers and me about the impact he made on their lives was so comforting and special. We knew he was great, but hearing other people say so reinforced that. It was like realizing he was world famous great! And that made me feel honored to have been his family and justified about the depth of my grief. Losing a great man warranted a great heartache.

Second, people need people. Jamie didn't leave my side for a month after my dad died. She spent the night with me for 30 days in a row while I worked out the seemingly tangible pain I felt from my broken heart. Having people around during those first weeks after a loss is so vital. People need people to cry with, to remind them to eat, to help figure out if you're ever going to be alright again.

Third, God will get you through. I was angry at God after I lost my dad, but I held onto Him tightly because I knew He was my only hope in overcoming the grief. I can't describe what God has done to my heart regarding losing my dad. There is still sadness, there is still longing to talk to him just one more time, but I am healed. I am not devastated and despaired. I am whole and repaired.

I've had 14 years to walk with God in my healing. It's somewhat easy for me say that there is hope and healing after a loved one dies, but there is. My heart is sad tonight not for 14 years without my awesome dad, it's sad for my family that has just begun their healing after death. Will you pray for them?

Ducks

We have lived in California for 2 years now. During that time, we have explored many areas and feel like we've seen a lot this area has to offer. But it amazes me when we discover something new tucked away in a corner of our town, especially a place I drive by each week, never realizing that a hidden gem is waiting to be happened upon.

That happened yesterday when we discovered the duck pond up the hill. We didn't really discover it, our friends have told us about it several times since we've lived here, but I never checked it out until yesterday. Whenever we were invited to feed the ducks, I imagined 5 or 6 ducks randomly wandering the grounds, not hundreds swimming in their own oasis at the edge of a city park.

 

The girls loved it. Heck, I loved it. I couldn't believe that deep in the heart of the ghetto there was this beautiful lagoon with swans, mallards, and geese. And I'm sure if you asked the ducks what they knew about the inner city crime rate in our area they would quack in our faces. All they know is lush grounds, cool waters, and endless tortillas and crackers.

Ghetto? What ghetto?! This is total opulence. Did you see the trail of stale crackers? Quack!

I mean, look at this place!

It was a great morning feeding the ducks and exploring this awesome place. We topped it off by having donuts for lunch with friends. Coolest moms ever!

 

We found the donuts almost immediately after we moved here so not everything about our day was explorative, but the duck pond certainly was a fun new discovery.

A Sign

The other day, some friends and I took a walk. At the end of the road, on a cliff by the sea, we saw 4 to 5 white doves perched on the telephone wires above our heads. It was such a strange sight, we were kind of in awe. We expect to see seagulls, pigeons, and other typical seaside fowl, not a tiny flock of pure white doves. But there they were, just sitting on those wires like it was the most usual thing in the world. We stood there and stared, trying to figure out if maybe there was a wedding or a funeral to explain their existence in our coastal town. We jokingly decided it was the end of the world and those doves were sent as a sign. A very logical explanation if you ask me....

A hand drawn rendering of the mysterious white doves:

Today, 2 days after seeing the white doves, I was sitting on the couch with the girls when Beatrice said, "hey, big birdie! What's your name?" I turned to look out the window and guess what I saw sitting on the railing by our front porch? AN EAGLE.

A connection was made right there. He looked into my eyes and he communicated something to me. It may have just been CA-CAW, but it was communication and eye contact with an eagle. Has that ever happened to you on your front porch? I'm gonna guess probably not...

Eagles are kind of like unicorns, except for the fact that they actually exist. They are rare though, protected, and seeing them is kind of special. You're probably not going to see one flying across the sky on any given day. So when one lands on your porch railing and looks you straight in the eye, you must ask yourself, does it have something to tell me? Do the birds have a message for me? Is this a sign?

I may never know. He flew away before he said anything else. I was totally dumbfounded about an eagle on my porch to check my camera settings. This picture is terrible, but watch him soar!

Tomorrow if I see an ostrich, it's the end of the world for sure.

10 Things

10 things I'm enjoying right now...

1. Chipotle cheddar cheese. Go to your grocer's deli and get some. If they don't have any, demand they get some. It's delicious.

2. Itty bitty biker boots. My friend gave these to Penelope yesterday and they are too much. She loves them.

3. Sister photo shoots that start like this:

And end like this:

And this:

4. Homemade pizza night. After a year of making pizza on my own, I've perfected my dough. It's all about how the dough feels and tonight, it felt perfect.

5. Our sunflower garden. My neighbor planted these sunflowers from seeds for the girls. They have grown lightning fast and skyscraper high. They are almost at their peak and soon, the squirrels and birds will feast on sunflower seeds for days.

6. My gray nails. I always feel pretty when my nails are painted.

7. A basketful of birch logs. I had the darnedest time finding white birch logs, but eBay saved the day.

8. The harvest spice tea blend from Trader Joe's. It tastes like pumpkin, apples, cranberries, cinnamon, and cloves all in one spicy, fruity hot tea. It's my nightly treat.

9. Matching sister braids.

10. These girls. Specifically, this wild monkey:

And this silly goose:

Earring-less

Last month, JD's sister came for a weeklong visit. She brought Beatrice some new earrings and we convinced her to let us change them out. This was a really big deal because after last year's piercing, Beatrice hasn't let anyone touch her earrings. She has cleaned them, twisted them, and done everything to care for them on her own because she was certain that if anyone else touched her ears, it was going to hurt. But she didn't do any of it willingly, everything was a battle.

Marcia got the first earring out, then Beatrice freaked out. Maybe she felt a little pinch or maybe it really did hurt her ear, but she totally flipped out and became hysterical. She wouldn't let us put the earring back in or remove the one in her other ear. It was quite the predicament.

Marcia and I decided we would wait until she was asleep and put the earring back in her empty lobe, I mean, we had been through so much caring for them during the past year, it couldn't be for nothing. It was a no-go though. As soon as we touched her ear, she cupped her hand over it and rolled over in her sleep. Poor girl must have had some serious anxiety about her earrings to instinctively cover her ear in her sleep.

JD said she had to have 2 earrings or no earrings, 1 pierced ear wasn't going to cut it. Beatrice thought that was a terrible idea since it meant sharp things either had to enter her lobes or be removed from them. She fought kicking and screaming, but we ended up taking the remaining earring out. It was traumatic for all of us.

But now it's over and my big girl is earring-less once again. At first, I was totally bummed because I felt like the whole terrible year of fighting Beatrice to take care of her ears was for nothing. But now I'm relieved. She is much less stressed out about her whole head in general. When she had earrings in, she freaked out when I brushed her hair, put a hood over her head, or snuggled her close in fear of me snagging her earring and pulling it out. The holes grew in pretty quickly and you can barely tell her ears were ever pierced.

She is happy with the outcome too. She says maybe she will pierce them again when she is a teenager. Until then, she's happy without her earrings.

Lemons!

It's a been a few months since I've been responsible for keeping a fruit tree alive and I'm happy to report everything has been going pretty good! I've learned that my little tree doesn't like to be watered every day, a good soak every other day seems to be perfect. Also, it doesn't like the strong winds we have whipping down the hill behind our house so I have moved it in front of the house. Other than that, this little lemon tree is pretty low maintenance.

We picked our first lemon the other day! The tree has been covered with green lemons for months now, but there was 1 gorgeous yellow one that was finally ripe enough to pick. I let Beatrice pick it and we sliced it together.

It was tart and citrusy and lemony and perfect. It made a mean lemon water too. I'm so proud of me for keeping this little guy alive and healthy. I can't wait for the other 20 lemons to ripen!