Thoughts On Easter

Happy Easter, everyone! Easter is my very favorite holiday of all time because I love Jesus and what's more exciting than celebrating the resurrection of the King of the world? Not a thing! Every year I get a little more into it: I prepare my heart and ask God for a fresh revelation of Jesus. Every year I get a stronger understanding of His sacrifice, His love for us. It is emotionally exhausting and exhilarating. I can't wait for next year!
...................................................................................................................................................................

A few days before Good Friday, I got a crazy idea to make the girls' Easter dresses. I scoured my Pinterest sewing board for inspiration. I found it here. I got to work and the dresses came together quickly and adorably!!

The girls loved their dresses. I used complementing fabric that I had in my stash. I loved how they turned out, but I really loved how easy they were to make.

My babies looked so precious in their mommy-made Easter dresses, if I do say so myself.

...................................................................................................................................................................

One of the best things about our neighborhood is the community events thrown for the major holidays. Easter is the best.

I hope your holiday was blessed!

Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend

I have cried a lot this week. I always do during Easter week. Sometimes I silently weep, sometimes I groan and sob. This happens when your best friend happens to be the slain and risen Lamb of God, the King of the world.

I cry because He took my place on the cross. He is only good, yet He was murdered like a horrendous criminal. I cry because although through His blood I have overcome the bondage of sin in my life, I still struggle with kindness, patience, and yelling at my kids. Knowing everything He did for me on the cross, I should surrender all to Him, but I struggle daily crucifying my flesh. I don't deserve any part of Him, but He loves me endlessly, so I cry.

I cry because the world rejects Him. Christians live without ever getting to know His limitless power in their lives. People stay twisted up in unforgiveness and live under the oppression of addiction and sin because they don't walk in His deliverance. It breaks my heart.

I haven't cried only sad tears. I have also cried tears of thanksgiving for the gift He gave us on the cross.  Death has been overcome, the curse of sin has been broken, sickness and disease don't stand a chance against the Name of Jesus, we have victory over every dark force and everything that opposes God, we have been forgiven and can come to the Father because of Jesus' complete work on the cross. Hallelujah! Praise His mighty Name!!

But more than all of that, I cry because He is alive and is coming back one day!! I get to touch the nail prints in His hands. I get to worship Him face to face one day. We don't serve a dead God, He lives and is roaring like a lion. He is present and sees all things. His mercy and grace is new every morning.

Oh friends, I hope you know Him. He is sweet. He is bigger than you could ever imagine. He is my best friend and I'm praying that you live with Him intimately each day. I'm praying that you are growing in Him and His Word. It will change your life. He is so worthy.

Abandoned (Not Really)

I was born at home on a Saturday afternoon in Florida. I was delivered by the help of a midwife and my dad. My older brother got his first spanking on that day. He spent the day with our pastor's family and threw a fit leaving Sea World, so he got spanked. My mom is still mad about it. Not really. 

2 hours after I was born, my mom went grocery shopping. By herself. Without her newborn. I am still mad about it. Not really. 

I like to tease my mom that all of my attachment issues are because she left me hours after I was born. During my most vulnerable time on earth, I was motherless. I was probably so scared. And hungry. And cold. My dad stayed home with me, but he was scared of newborn babies so he probably didn't hold me for very long. I can vaguely remember my cries of abandonment. Not really. 

Today is my birthday and I was motherless once again, only this time I didn't cry. I spent the day walking cliffside with friends, playing with my girls, and shopping. I scored a bunch of birthday freebies (mostly food) that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Strangers that wish you a happy birthday can almost make you feel as special as when family does. At least to people with abandonment issues. Not really. 

At 31, I feel grown up. I feel like a mom. I feel like a wife. I feel like I have my feet on a firm foundation in the Word of God. I like this feeling. But most importantly, I have come to a place where I forgive my mom for leaving me when I was just 2 hours old. I may never understand her choice that day, but I am letting it go. Not really.

Being born is a great thing! Thanks for having me, mom, even if you left me so soon. Happy birthday to me!

Does it feel weird holding me, mom? Not really used to it, huh, with all that shopping you were doing? Sorry about the spank, Sethy! Also, nice bowl cut. 

Birthday Eve

Tomorrow's my birthday. It's not a milestone birthday or anything - I'm turning 31 - but it's the first birthday I'll be spending without any adult members of my family. JD is out of town and everyone else is in Tennessee. Thankfully I have my babies to sing to me. 

I'm a real grown up now. I no longer count down the months and weeks and days until my birthday like I used to. It's fun to get cards and phone calls from loved ones wishing me a happy day, but I get that my birthday is not the ultimate event of the year like it used to be. It's just another day, really. But because it's the day I was born and celebration-worthy, I kind of want to do something special tomorrow.

I heard that Los Angeles locals can take a boat ride to Catalina Island for free on their birthdays, so I signed up for my free ticket and made mental plans to go. The more I thought about it though, I realized that me alone on a boat in the open ocean with 2 kids might be difficult. Plus, I get green on most car rides lasting longer than 20 minutes. An hour and 15 minute boat ride might not be the best idea for me.

I have decided not to go on my free sail to Catalina. Frowny face. I want to do something special though. I've been googling and there is quite a bit of free stuff one can get on their birthday.

Tomorrow, I can get a free cupcake, a free burger, a free steak dinner, 10 free hot wings, free ice cream, and several other yummy treats. I really want to take advantage of all the birthday deals, but I can only eat one dinner so I need to decide tonight. Maybe 1 and a half...

It appears my special birthday plans have gone from sailing to eating at Hooters. Ha! Personally, I cannot think of a better way to ring in my 31st year. What say you, readers? Pizza, burgers, or steak? The cupcake is a given. This girl is gonna live it up tomorrow and not pay a dime doing it. Happy birthday to me!

Beach Week

The day after Christmas, I called my mom and told her she had to buy a plane ticket to California immediately. I hadn't seen her since September when I went home for the birth of my niece and that is entirely too long to go without seeing one's mother.

She promised to book a trip, but I was relentless until her ticket was purchased. After a lot of back and forth on who was coming and when, it was determined that we would rent a beach house and stay together in Manhattan Beach for a week during my youngest brother's Spring Break. 

Last Saturday, after 6 long months, I got to see my mama again. 

We spent the week walking to get bagels and coffee in the mornings, walking to get ice cream after lunch, and walking to dinner. There was a definite theme to our week and it had a lot to do with walking.

Manhattan Beach is about 15 miles from our house. It is our favorite beach town and we hang out there as much as possible. It is a great walking town with restaurants, coffee shops, and boutiques all clustered together. We were on the north end of the beach and walked a good mile each way to dinner, sometimes walking twice a day. We walked a lot, but it was fun. 

We wandered into a farmer's market one day, discovered hidden culinary treasures at tiny cafes, and had many other adventures just walking around. 

We went to Disneyland and had a blast.

The rest of the week was spent playing and hanging out. Some days we had a plan, some days we flew by the seat of our pants. My girls were in heaven having grandparents around to spoil them.

They are gone now. I was sad all day yesterday and a little bit today. It will be awhile before we see them again and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that.

We miss you, mom, Ron, and Cole. Hurry back. 

Part Wolf

I am scared of a lot of thing. Bugs coming back to life under the wad of toilet paper I just smooshed them with, snakes in my bed, and vampires hiding in my basement are just a few. Most (from the looks of that list, probably all) of my fears are highly improbable. I manage living my day to day life under the crippling fear that in the night, snakes are coiled at my feet hatching their snake babies, resurrected bugs are crawling all my face, and vampires are chilling 2 floors below.

I'm not sure how, but I deal with the possibility of all of this happening. Before I climb in bed though, I check for snakes, I wake up brushing imaginary bugs off my pillow, and sometimes I make JD check the basement for vampire squatters. As you can see, these fears affect my life. They affect it in some pretty stupid ways, but I'm affected nonetheless.

None of these things compare to the huge phobia I have of wolves though.

I'm probably the most afraid of wolves because they're real and they're mean and in every single movie I've seen with wolves in it, they eat people. Actually, I'm probably most afraid of wolves because of what I've seen in the movies. I know nothing of wolves except what has been portrayed on film. Wolves = death by being eating alive, and that is just plain scary. Am I right?

My fear of wolves manifests itself in me being too afraid to go outside at night because hello, wolves hunt people at night, even in suburban Los Angeles. I won't go near the woods and I will never visit Alaska because they have pretty much taken over that place. If I have recently watched a movie with a wolf in it, I will not walk through my dark house to fetch my husband a drink of water because wolves are known shape-shifters and you never know when your chair may really be a wolf.

I came across this shirt online a few weeks ago and naturally, I had to order it. It was too perfect.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Or something like that.

Shop!

Do y'all remember the closet sale I did several months ago? Well, it was a great way to purge my closet and give some of my favorite things a second life. My good friend, Kristen, is doing the same. She is very fashion forward and has great taste. Her clothes are ri-dic. In a good way. If I ever get a hair-brained idea to write an outfit or style post, I don't because I don't want Kristen to make fun of me and my lame outfits. She is stylish with a capital S and her clothes are so pretty.

Everything she has listed is boutique finds or designer. Jeans, dresses, bags, shoes, she's got some great stuff. Check out her sale here.

A Lame Post About Our Shoes

The amount of time between my last post and this one is embarrassing. I would like to say that I've been super busy with really awesome, important things, but not so much. I have been doing regular life stuff and every time I get a free moment, I can't think of anything to blog about. I've noticed that a lot of the blogs I follow have really slowed down on the frequency of their posts too. Maybe they are in an internet funk also?

I wish I could say I was breaking my internet silence with a really exciting post, but I'm not. This post is pretty lame actually. It's about shoes. Not even new shoes. Just shoes we've been wearing lately. Lame, huh?

This blog has hit a new low. I can't promise it's not all downhill from here. I'm pretty sure a random shoe post is the beginning of the end...

I'll try to do better.