An Apology Letter to Target

Dear Target,

I'm writing you because I need to make sure we are in good standing. You are one of my favorite stores and keeping a good relationship is very important to me, but I get the feeling I am not your most favorite customer.

You see, I have 2 little kids. When I come to Target, they are always with me and we leave a trail of destruction in our path. We don't mean to, I assure you. I am a very conscientious shopper and do my best to return unwanted items to their original place, but my little ones are mesmerized with all of your wares and can't help grabbing everything within arm's reach. My cart is endlessly being filled with crap I don't need, want, or have use for.

Half the time, I don't realize my cart is full of cat treats, mens socks, and clearance gum. It's usually several aisles into my shopping trip that I begin removing these items. So, those 2 Cabbage Patch dolls in the cosmetics? Sorry about that. My baby had them wedged between the child seat and the rest of the cart. I didn't notice them sooner. Oh, and that Ariel stocking left behind in electronics? My 3 year had that stuffed under my coffee creamer. I had to be quick and remove it from my cart before an epic fit ensued. Thank you for understanding.

And since we're talking about epic fits, I'm really sorry that both of my kids screamed and cried in the pharmacy and caused a major scene. They were playing tug of war with a bag of chocolate chips (probably left behind by a mother with small children like me) and could not be consoled. They're used to getting treats when we shop at your store so they couldn't understand why the chocolate chips were off limits.

I guess I need to apologize for all of the snacks consumed in the store too. Sometimes a fruit roll up is the only thing keeping my kids (and me) from falling apart. All those sticky wrappers in my cart are just a reminder to pay for them. Please pass along my sincere apologies to the cashiers that have to pick them off my other items so they can scan them.

I need to get one more thing off of my chest that has probably been bothering you for some time. The cart left in the parking lot, sometimes wedged in the landscaping? Ya, that's me. Because my children are so little and have the tendency to run into traffic, I have to buckle them into my car before I unload the cart. Once they are buckled in, I don't feel comfortable leaving them alone in the car while I walk the empty cart to its proper place. Wedging it in the landscaping is usually my only option. So sorry!

As you can see, I'm no model customer. I'm pretty terrible, actually. But I love your store and hope that you can overlook these offenses until my girls grow out of this little phase they're going through. Will you forgive me?