I had to take Beatrice to see a specialist at a nationally renowned children's hospital today. There is a lump on her shoulder that her pediatrician wanted to get checked out. Everything turned out fine and the specialist is 99.9% sure the lump is a hemangioma (buildup of blood vessels). We will know for sure on Friday.
I have known about this appointment for weeks now but haven't put much thought into it. I was too afraid to let myself think too much about what it could mean. It hit me as I circled the multi story parking garage and rode the elevator to the 8th floor (a few floors above pediatric oncology). The fear of something being terribly wrong with my baby hit me and I had to fight back tears. I rode that elevator with parents of sick children and I silently begged God to let my baby be healthy. I waited in the exam room while Beatrice shredded the paper sheet on the table. I just stared at my precious girl. She is so tenderhearted and strong willed, my little goob. I couldn't bear the thought of her having health problems.
I have never taken her health for granted. Before she was born, I prayed that God would keep her healthy and whole. We still pray that over her every night when we lay her down to sleep. I guess that is why I never worried much about her appointment; I know that her health is in God's hands. But being in that hospital with sick babies just broke my heart and rocked me to the core. I will now be praying for sick babies and scared parents.
Thank God for healthy babies and good reports at specialists' offices.