Friday, June 18, 2010

Lamp Unto My Feet

Recently I participated in the New Thru 30 Bible reading plan. It was awesome. Basically, you read the New Testament in 30 days. I kind of slacked on it after the first week, but finished nonetheless. It was more like New Thru 60 for me. I loved it. I have read through the New Testament several times before, but submerging myself in it daily really made for an awesome, life-changing experience. Now more than ever, I want to live a life that honors God. And I really, really want to go to Heaven.

I love how the Bible is ever-ministering. For one season of your life a passage can mean one thing but if you read it again during another season, it can minister to you in a new way. Not that the message changes, but it really is the LIVING Word of God. I also love how the Bible is our handbook to living. You want to know how to please God? Read His Word. Want to raise kids according to His master plan? Read His Word. Want a happy, loving marriage? Read His Word. For every part of  life, He has given us a manual on how to do it not only in a way that honors Him, but in a way that brings us blessings too.

I want to go to heaven and God makes it clear that "neither the sexually immoral, not idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God," I Corinthians 6:9-10. That pretty much sums up all of us, doesn't it? I want to avoid these activities so I can see heaven. God makes it clear what behaviors should be abstained from in order to live obediently. And the things that I struggle with, well I'm going to repent and align my thinking with His Word. Isn't that what we are supposed to do as Christians: follow His Word?

So with this renewed sense of living a God-pleasing life I've got going on here, I wonder how to go about doing it. I struggle the most with balance. I want to dedicate my whole life, every minute of the day, to living for Him in praise, prayer and ministering to others. The problem? My family. Let me rephrase: the responsibilities I have to my family. I have to take care of a little one almost nonstop for a good 12 hours every day. Then there's JD. He requires food and clean sheets and some attention pretty regularly. How am I supposed to devote my life to God while these two take up so much of my time?

I know that God has a purpose for us at every place in our lives and as a wife/mother, I can still honor Him. But learning how to balance that is my great dilemma. I always imagined my purpose in life would be grander than Wife and Mother. Not that those roles aren't amazing, I just always saw myself as more of a missionary or something. I find myself wondering how I can be of any use in His Kingdom by changing diapers all day. I'm not really serving anyone but my family. Is that enough for God? And if it's not, how do I squeeze more time out of each day? I just don't want to be standing there before Him on the day of judgment with Him saying "you could have done more."

I'm just so glad God doesn't intend for us to walk alone. He gave His Word as a "lamp unto our feet and light unto our path," Psalm 119:105. I want to walk a lit path, knowing where I'm headed with Him by my side. Have you spent time with Him today?

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