Owning It

I don't like fish. This is something I've hidden for many years. I've pushed crab cakes around my plate and choked down microscopic bites of shrimp pretending I was eating it for far too long. I've decided enough is enough. I'm sick of this charade. I just don't like fish.

This is not an easy thing to admit. Liking fish seems like a very "adult" thing to do. You are born, you grow up, you get married, you eat fish. It's the natural progression of things. And if you are an adult and don't like to eat fish, people look at you like you are 12 and like that filet you just ordered is equivalent to a happy meal.

But the thing is, I like filets. I always have. And I just want to order my filet without the pressure of trying someone's cedar planked salmon. No thank you, I don't like fish. 

I don't just not like the taste of fish, I have a physical reaction to it. My throats closes up, I gag, I can't swallow. This all might be psychosomatic, but it's real and it freaks me out. Plus, I have never smelled an appetizing piece of fish. Ever. It all smells, well, fishy. Like ocean vomit. 

I wished I liked fish, I really do. It's low calorie and the health benefits are undeniable, but I want to barf every time it's near me. I try it every so often, just to be sure my taste buds haven't changed. But it's always the same reaction. Dry heave, gag, wave of nausea. So I'm finally going to own it; I just don't like fish and I'm not ashamed anymore. Pass the filet.