Working On It

I've been neglecting this blog lately. Partly because I have been busy saying our goodbyes to family, but mostly because life has pretty much fledged a full on attack on us. Our townhouse got flooded by a busted pipe last month and the insurance companies have been horrible to work with. Some of the moving expenses we originally thought would be covered by JD's employer turned out to be our responsibility. Penelope got sick and had to spend 2 days in the hospital. Unexpected bills have piled up. And on and on. Oh yeah, and I have had 2 little kids to take care of all by myself. It has been exhausting, emotionally (and financially) exhausting.

Most days start out pretty normal, but by 10 am I am faced with another bad news phone call/tantrum throwing toddler/simultaneous crying baby and toddler and I start to lose it. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to throw in the towel on the day and go back to bed. But I don't. I can't, can I? Pretty sure having kids makes that a non-option, darn it. I usually just scream a little, cry a little, and feel sorry for myself a little. It helps. A little.

Life is hard right now, but I have realized that it's probably always going to be hard in some way. The girls' simultaneous crying may end one day, but it will be replaced with fights over clothes and other things I imagine sisters to fight over. Busted pipes and ruined hardwood floors will get replaced, but insurance adjusters aren't going to make it an easy process. There's little I can do to avoid life's punches, they're going to come.

What I do have control over is my reaction to it all. I can react negatively (note the little bit of screaming, crying, and feeling sorry for myself above), or I can react in a way that honors God and shows my family that I can handle the pressure. I want to get good at the latter. I want to handle life's trials with grace and barely any tears. Some tears are okay. Crying is a really good stress reliever. I'm working on it. One screaming, crying, bad day at a time.