Saturday, October 22, 2011


I've never been the girl with a ton of friends. I have always had a handful of really close girlfriends, but never can come up with more than 10 or so folks to invite to my baby showers, birthday parties, or the like. I'm more of a few-close-best-friends kind of person than a whole-lot-of-people-I'm-friendly-with kind of person. Neither of which are bad by the way, I've just always managed fewer friends at once better than having a bunch in my speed dial. And just so you don't think I'm pathetic or anything, I have lots of people that I consider friends - they just aren't people I would call in a crisis. There are only a few of those. I also have 288 Facebook friends. That should prove something. What - I'm not sure, but it's a big deal. Trust me.  

One of my biggest fears about moving away has been that I won't make any friends. The friends that I have I've had for 10+ years and my sisters in law are in my family. I haven't made a new friend in ages because honestly, how does one go about making friends as an adult? Do you introduce yourself and say, "wanna be friends?" Or better yet, how does one go about making friends as an adult when one does not work outside of the home, has 2 small children that require a lot of home time, and has very little time to invest in a new friendship? "Hi! Wanna be friends and never see each other but possibly babysit my kids next week?" 

When you're a kid, friendships just happen. On the first day of school, there was always someone you clicked with. At work, people buddy up almost immediately and effortlessly. When you get married, you inherit your spouse's friends and their wives. It's easy to make friends when you spend a huge chunk of your days with other people. But when you're at home most of your life with little kids, the task becomes much harder. It takes a lot more effort to cultivate a relationship when you don't get to spend the majority of your time with people other than your family members.

I have only been in California for 10 days and am desperate for friends. I think that this big, faraway place will feel smaller and closer with people to laugh with, cry with, and help me go places with my babies. And maybe babysit while I get my hair done every 8 weeks or so... I have met some moms on the playground and have high hopes that we will hang out on purpose soon. I also met up with a friend from back home that misses her friends like crazy too. She lives in Los Angeles too, in case that was confusing. I feel pretty confident in saying that I think we will be fast friends. Partly because we had a great time catching up, but mostly because we texted each other afterward asking if the other wanted to be friends...What? I really want to make a friend, y'all.

Seriously though, how does one go about making friends as an adult when one doesn't work outside the home or know the area?


  1. I know you *just* moved out there, so you might now have found a new church yet, but once you do...get involved in a small group! I have three great friends that I have met through our small group...and it isnt really EASY for me to make friends...Ive known them from almost 2 years now, and I am finally feeling like I could actually call them and ask them to hold my babies while I shower or something. But still...Id say through a church is a great place to start! Especially if you can find one that offers a playgroup for moms and kids!

  2. First off....welcome to Ca. We could definitely be friends if I lived closer.....I'm up here in the bay area. Anyway, as someone who isn't originally from this area, I get ya. You've got two friend makers....always with you (your kids). Seriously, easy way to meet others in your boat are mom groups, music together, gymboryee, city classes for kids, little gym....etc. So. Cal is filled with that nonsense. Kids are naturally friendly....use them.

  3. Glad we met up 'on purpose' post our initial park meeting:) I'm just saying...