Personal Space

I have issues with personal space. I don't want to sit close enough to be touching anyone. I don't want to rub shoulders or bump elbows with other people. And I really don't want to be hugged. If I have to, it's awkward and brief and my heart won't be in it because all I can think about is how uncomfortable it is for me to be touching other people. I sound like a total psycho. My friends know this about me and love to force me into full body hugs. It gives me the heeby jeebies every time. Sorry guys, it's not you. It's me.

I'm not frigid or loveless or anything, I just don't want to be touched. I like my personal space and get a wee bit claustrophobic when people invade it. That's perfectly normal, right?


Having babies has really forced me to deal with these issues. Babies are no respecters of personal space, let me tell you. My girls are on me all the time. They climb me, sit on me, run their fingers through my hair, pull at my clothes, put their hands under my clothes, eat off my plate, and put their fingers in my nose. And thankfully, they are the only people on earth that I don't avoid physical contact with. And JD, obviously.

I really love the way my kids treat my body like an extension of their own, like they have a need to be near me and touching me at all times. It is really sweet and makes me feel like being a mama is the best thing ever. Except when I'm trying to use the bathroom. Mommy really doesn't like going with 2 kids in her lap. It's as if the 9 months inside me wasn't enough. My kids are still attached to me in a way that communicates, "I feel the best when I'm wrapped around you like a spider monkey. Also can I have a bite of that food that's in your mouth right now? Here, let me use my fingers to pry it out."

The evidence:

I love these little snugly space invaders.

Happy Weekend

 

This weekend has been great. Farmers market, swimming, movies, dinner with friends, and snuggles. Tomorrow we meet up with my cousin for a beach day. We are having such a happy weekend. I hope you are too!

Quitters

I used to be really into healthy living. I ran 5 miles a day, I went to the gym 5 nights a week, I ate spinach salads and raw veggies for lunch, and I had muscle tone in places that are now very, very mushy. I really took care of my body not just for vanity's sake, but also for my future health.

These days, I have trouble sticking with any sort of workout plan very long. Remember my ab challenge back in February? Yeah, I gave up after Valentine's Day. I still care about healthy living, but it's more of a lofty idea for the future, something I'll do once I finish this plate of brownies. I guess I'm just in a bad habit of no exercise and eating like crap and my body is paying for it.

After Sunday's baconfest, JD and I watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. It was so inspiring, we decided to do a juicing cleanse to jump start healthier eating for us. We did our research, brought the juicer up from the basement, and decided to start on August 1st.

Our initial goal was 30 days. I convinced JD that might be a wee bit ambitious for first time cleansers. We settled on 10 days, with me doing a modified cleanse since I am still breast feeding Penelope. Nothing but juice for JD for 10 days. Juice and raw foods (nothing processed) for me. No coffee, so sugar, no bread, no meat. Oy.

We were so excited on Tuesday night. We were hours away from the beginning of healthier, fitter selves. How foolish of us. Everything was going great on Wednesday morning. We woke up early and juiced kale, apples, carrots, lemons, cucumbers, and celery. We felt great...until about 10 am.

Then the headaches set in. Blinding, painful, withdrawal headaches. I stayed in the fetal position all day while the girls fended for themselves. JD came home from work early from exhaustion. We were a mess. We spent the night talking about grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza, and burrito bowls from Chipotle. We wanted to give up.

We trudged on though and the next day, we felt a little better. Losing weight on the scales didn't hurt either. We woke up early to juice again, this time hoping that the worst was behind us. It wasn't. Around 10 am, the headaches raged on. I decided I wasn't cut out for cleansing. I was cut out for food. And lots of it. I decided that I had to eat myself into a healthier me. So I had a bowl of oatmeal and a banana. Then I took a long walk to the fishing pier. I felt so much better. Juicing is for the birds. 


JD came home and decided that feeling like crap for a couple of days wasn't the way to a healthier him either. We discussed what we had hoped to gain from this experience before the headaches set in (ridding our bodies of the chemicals found in processed foods, better eating habits, and healthier, fitter selves for life) and decided that we could accomplish it without going through the torturous juice cleanse. We decided to give up. And then we made spinach and grilled chicken quesadillas with avocados and ate until our shrunken stomachs were bloated and full. It was heaven.

Actually, we don't feel like we gave up at all. Although JD is a little touchy every time I mention the fact that we are big, fat quitters... The day and a half juice cleanse put us more in touch with our bodies and really made us think about the kinds of things we want to put in them in the future. Our new goal is to eat 75% natural foods (fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes) and eliminate the processed foods that come in a box or a can. The rest will be lean meats and hormone free animal products (cheese, eggs, milk, butter). Lots of water and regular exercise too. We are going to incorporate regular juicing in our diets as well since the benefits are undeniable.

I'm really proud of JD for initiating this cleanse and sticking with it for more than 1 day. He is the guy that used to think a PopTart and Hawaiian Punch was a healthy breakfast. Even though we technically gave up, we are still inspired and committed to healthier eating for life. That doesn't sound at all like quitting to me!

Bacon

This morning, I fried a whole package of bacon. All 20 pieces, crispy and delicious. I don't know why I made that much for 3 1/2 people, but I did. We didn't eat it all for breakfast, so I left a plate of the leftovers in the kitchen for convenient snacking.

And snack on bacon all day we did. I had big plans to incorporate bacon into every meal today, but after my bacon wrapped hotdog for lunch and all day bacon munching, I thought there might be such a thing as too much bacon.

Mmm, I love bacon.

We Made It

JD travels a bit with his job. I hate when he's gone because it means I am all alone with the girls without family close by to help me out. It is usually pretty rough for me even though I do 90% of the childcare when he's home. There's just something nice about knowing I have someone home with me at night to help with the other 10%.

The first couple of times JD traveled without us, I had a pretty rough go at it. There were tears, there were impatient moments, there were frustrations. And the girls had a rough time too, ha! I think it had a lot to do with having a newborn and a brand new 2 year old and feeling like I wasn't qualified to juggle both at the hardest part of the day: nighttime. With each trip he takes though, I get a little better at managing everything by myself.

This past week, JD was gone 4 days. It is the longest he has left me with both girls by myself. The verdict? We did great! It was such a peaceful, fun week for the girls and me. We kept busy everyday with fun activities with friends. I didn't cook or do laundry or clean a thing all week (heaven!). Nighttime was still a challenge as the girls have different bedtimes and both are very clingy/needy after dinner, but I learned that if I kept them busy during the day they went down really easily.

I usually have a terrible time sleeping when JD is out of the house, but this week I only woke 1 night lunging from my bed due a snake nightmare. They were coiled at my feet so I slept the rest of the night in the fetal position, careful not to stretch my feet to the end of the bed. Every other night I fell asleep quick and slept like a baby without any fears of intruders or snakes. I did check every closet and behind the shower curtain before bed every night, just in case. 

Even though we had a great week by ourselves, it is so wonderful having JD home. We picked him up this afternoon and promptly smothered him in kisses, showed him dance moves, and fed him his favorites treats. I cleaned, did laundry, and cooked like a madwoman this morning. It's nice to know we can make it without him, but we don't like it one bit. Everything is better when Daddy is home.

The Worst Thing About L.A.

The worst thing about L.A. is the traffic. I know everyone says that about big cities, but until you've experienced it for 9 months, you have no idea how terrible it really is. It's gotten to the point where I don't really want to go anywhere anymore. I can't handle the godforsaken traffic.

The traffic is so bad that it doesn't really matter what fun thing you've just been out doing, once you get stuck in traffic for 2 hours just to travel 30 miles back home, your fun has been ruined. Take today for instance. The girls and I went to the OC Fair. We got there quickly, had a great time with friends, and made sure to leave by 3:45 to beat the rush hour traffic. We sat still for an hour and a half, traveling an inch at a time, just to exit the parking lot. The parking lot! It took another 45 minutes to drive the 2 freeways back to our house. Once we got home, I forgot all about the cotton candy and games and fun day I had with my girls. I just wanted to scream. Argh.

The thing that aggravates me the most about the stupid, ridiculous traffic is that there seems to be no real reason for the jams. One minute you're cruising along, happily traveling at a reasonable pace and the next you're stopping for no apparent reason. JD and I have analyzed this strange phenomenon and we have concluded it always slows down near the ramps allowing more cars into the freeways. It appears that other drivers freak out at the sight of more cars and just stop excelerating. This causes the 40 bajillion other drivers behind them to slow down and before you know it, the whole darn freeway is still, all because some extra cars wanted to drive in one of the 12 lanes. Stupidity, I tell ya. 


I'm not a person that really minds driving in a bunch of traffic. Lots of cars do not intimidate me. When we first moved here, I went places all the time. I thought it was so cool to live somewhere with so much fun stuff to do. But I can't do it anymore. I can't get in my car knowing that it is going to take me 4 hours to go get a hotdog. I can't get back on a freeway just for something fun to do. I can't. I'm staying home.

11 months

Yesterday this sweet baby turned 11 months old.

Just a short while ago, she couldn't even sit up. She was a squishy blob of a baby. Now she feeds herself, drinks from a sippy, loves to plays with her toys, follows her sister everywhere, and laughs at our jokes. She is a big girl.

Our sissybug is sweet and spirited. Even at 11 months old, she refuses to be the quiet little sister in the shadow of her older sibling. Penelope is right in the middle of whatever big sis is up to and is not afraid to stake her claim on the toys/shoes/clothes/snacks she wants. She may be smaller than her sister, but she's no pushover.

As cliché as it sounds, I really cannot remember what our lives were like before we had our littlest daughter. Penelope is such a perfect fit for our silly clan, our family feels complete with her in it. Complete for now, that is ;) . 

I prayed for this baby. I loved her before she was even born. My heart grew twice its size the moment I saw her. She has made me a better mama, I feel like a seasoned pro with her. I cannot believe it's almost been a year since I laid eyes on her tiny, squirmy, pink body for the first time in that hospital room.

Next month is her big first birthday and even though it means my baby is not a baby anymore, I'm excited to watch her grow into a little person. I love you, sweet sissy!