In This Season

In this season of my life, conversations like this occur a lot:

"Mama, can you help me smell this?"
"Well baby, you just have to use your nose and smell it yourself."
"Can you just do it for me? I don't want to smell that."

I am in an endless cycle of cleaning up dollhouse furniture, washing dress up clothes, and picking glitter off of the couch. The messes are constant, the laundry multiplies, and emotions run high among my little girls.

The needs of my children are great and require all that I have. Some days I am awesome at meeting each one, other days I fail miserably before I've had my morning coffee.

Motherhood is hard. It's a daily reminder of my shortcomings and areas where I need grace in my life. I struggle with patience the most. But it's also mostly joy. Watching my children's bodies grow strong and their brilliant brains expand each day is amazing. These little babies that came from my body are turning into little people! Sassy little people... They say the best, most hilarious things and have giant, compassionate hearts.

I know it's cliche to say that I can't remember life before having my kids, but I can't remember life before having my kids. In this season, they consume me. They need me for everything and touch me so often, it's like they are still apart of my body. It's overwhelming sometimes. But I know it's just a season. Soon enough they will be grown up with their own little ones to raise.

Sometimes I try to burn an image into my mind to recall on their wedding days, like when Penelope struggles with pulling up her pants and after giving up, waddles around like a streaking penguin until someone helps her. Or when Beatrice begs me to save all of my bras and underwear for her to wear when she's a teenager. Amid all of the chaos of mothering young children, these really are the best days.

I never wanted to find my identity in being a mother. I imagined myself to be so much more than that: friend, wife, lover of Jesus. Then I grew people in my womb and something changed. I never knew the honor of being a mother until I became one. There's no greater calling in a woman's life than to raise babies. I may have many roles in my life, but in this season, I am a mother. And I love it.

Happy Mother's Day! All photos by my friend, Sara Rose Photography.