Let's Check In On Mah Fetus, Shall We?

Today I am 12 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy is so different than last time. I have been sick almost the entire time with morning all day sickness. It has been rough, especially while trying to keep up with a toddler. But hopefully, with only a week left in the first trimester, I will be feeling better soon. Please dear Lord let me feel better soon. 

Stats

Weight gain: NONE! This thrills me. By 12 weeks pregnant with Beatrice, I had already gained 10lbs. Things are looking up for this pregnancy already. Except for being sick. But at least I'm still skinny!!!!!
Stretch marks: NONE! I never really got any with Beatrice so I don't expect to get any this time around either.
Movement: I could have sworn I have felt those flutters all weeks but I'm pretty sure it's just gas. Pregnancy does weird things to your digestive track. Just sayin'.
Cravings: To not be nauseated every moment of the day. That's all.
Sleep: Pretty darn good, when I can. Insomnia plagues me a few nights a week, but otherwise I sleep like a baby, with a baby in mah belly.
Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat. I love that sweet lub-dub.
Gender: I keep having girl dreams but I think it's only because I want another girl so badly. Methinks it's a boy....
Labor signs: Nope.
Belly button situation: In and all normal and cute still. Just wait.
What I miss: Feeling like a functioning human being.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing the little babe on the ultrasound tomorrow for the NT scan. And praying for a good report!
Weekly wisdom: I really try not to complain too much about my overall misery because I realize that conceiving and carrying a child is a gift and blessing from God.
Milestones: The baby is fully formed now and looks less amphibian and more human. Yay human baby!

And now for a belly picture. Don't mind my pajama pants/turtle neck sweater combo. It's kind of my trademark to wear my shirt from the day to bed with comfy PJs. I'm aware that it's not normal and I'm totally okay with it. You should probably get used to it now. You'll be seeing many similar ensembles in the weeks to come.

It's a tiny little baby bump. Actually if I hadn't gained any weight whatsoever, I would be inclined to think that it was a food baby. But alas, I do believe that's my uterus poking through my former flat, rock hard abs. So that's what's been going down this week. I've just been growing humans. What have you guys been up to?

Saving Lives, One Night At A Time

JD snores. Bad, but only when he's sleeping on his back. Which is about half the night. So it's a problem. My problem apparently because he sleeps just fine through all of that log sawing. I, however, do not. The solution is pretty simple. It involves a few quick jabs in his side and a "honey, roll over you're snoring" and voila, he rolls over and the snoring ceases. Except the next morning he gives me this annoying lecture on how I better not be messing with his sleep by waking him up, blah blah. He claims that if he's snoring, it means that he's sleeping really, really good. I, on the other hand, am not.

After some other weird sleep issues, JD was prompted to see a specialist for a sleep study. He had to sleep in a clinic while hooked up to a bunch of monitors. He said that it was awful, nurses kept coming in to check on him and reposition him if he moved something connected to him. There were lots of interruptions. He said it was much like a night at home with me. Hmmph. We got the results of his sleep study on Monday and he is normal except for some restless leg syndrome. Don't get me started on the freakin restless leg. Oy. That's a whole other blog post. The snoring, however is a sign of not breathing efficiently enough. His body is struggling for air so his nose morphs into a chainsaw and basically chops the air into tiny(er) particles to fit into his lungs. Or something like that. The doctor's prescription? HAVE HIS WIFE WAKE HIM UP! Or sew tennis balls into pockets on the back of his shirt which is just plain weird. Not to mention impossible since he sleeps shirtless. But I digress.

Basically, it all boils down to the fact that I have been saving his life every time I elbow him in the ribs.
JD is not thrilled about what the doctor said. He hates admitting that his wife is not wrong. He hates it so much that he can't even say that I'm right. Just "not wrong." Thankfully the snoring has not been an issue in a few days. The doctor also said to avoid sleeping on his back so he has been side sleeping, thus not snoring. I told him he should be able to sleep way sounder now knowing that I'm there to keep him alive and breathing no matter what. He is beyond thrilled. At least he's stopped with the lectures.

Done

I nursed my baby toddler for the last time this morning. I didn't know it at the time, but after coming to terms that she's just not that into it anymore, today I decided to be done.

This has been a very emotional decision for me. When I went to my first OB appointment at 5 weeks, my doctor told me to stop nursing. There are mixed opinions, but certain studies suggest that breast feeding while pregnant can cause preterm labor and other complications. I'm not sure where I stand on this debate because I've read valid points on both sides of the argument. But the thought of trying to wean while I was about to give birth only to have to start the whole shebang over again with baby #2 didn't sound appealing. And Beatrice was ready. So I have been weaning. And crying and crying.

I cried because as long as I've been a mommy, I've been nursing. It is apart of our relationship, our bond. I wondered how she would react to stopping and that made me cry. Thinking of her begging me for boovies while I denied her the only milk she's ever known was almost too much to bear. But as I dropped feedings, I realized that she didn't even notice. She was over it. And that made me cry most of all.

This morning I got up and greeted my smiling baby toddler standing in her crib. I took her to the changing table to change her diaper wondering if she would ask for boovies. She did and I was relieved. So much of me is not ready to let go of this with her. We rocked and nursed for approximately 1 minute. And she was done. She slid off of my lap and asked for her snack. With my boovies still out and about I asked if she wanted more milkies and she said no while shaking her head back and forth. She was done.

So that's it I suppose. It would be kind of gross to keep forcing my boovies on her if she's not into it anymore. I'm okay with that, I think. It's just hard and sad to end that chapter that we both began together 15 months ago without so much as a goodbye. Just a no. "No more boovies, mommy. Sheesh." JD makes fun of me when I cry. When I explained that I have no baby to nurse anymore he said that in about 6 more months I will have another and I get to start all over again. He's right. It's not easy though. I don't know how to be a mommy that doesn't nurse. I guess I will just have to learn. And cry.

Here's the Deal

So by now, most of you have probably been wondering why this blog has had such high levels of suckage lately. Stop being polite. Even I know it has sucked. I have lost 5 followers in the last 3 weeks. That's a lot when you only have a hundred or so. There are many reasons for the suckage actually. The holidays really wiped me out. We were busy and rushing around with family. There's been the stress of keeping our place clean and tidy for real estate showings. We have had 3 so far in the last week so we are hopeful that we will get an offer soon. And honestly, I haven't felt all that creative lately. Oh and then there's this.

I'm pregnant with baby #2. My loins beareth fruit. Hooray, yay!!!! Phew. That feels like a 100 lbs has been lifted off of my shoulders. That has been the hardest secret to keep from my bloggy world. I hate keeping secrets because it kind of feels like lying. So, I have barely written anything. And all of the stuff I come up with  to write has to do with pregnancy so I have just been laying low, hoping not to lose anymore of you.

How did this happen, you ask? Well, other than the obvious (brown chicken brown cow), we had a moment in October where we thought we might be pregnant. When we weren't, we decided that we really wanted to be. So we did what we had to do to make it happen. Again and again and again and again and again. And a month later, I took that picture up there early in the morning. We are thrilled and can't wait to make Beatrice a big sister.

Go pop a cork and celebrate for me. It will be approximately 29 more weeks before I will be popping any corks or celebrating in that fashion. Yay for babies!!

Let's Talk

I love a good conversation. Especially a good conversation over dinner. I think that's why I hated being single so much. I scrambled every night trying to find a companion to dine with. Mostly for the company, less about the food. Most nights though, I found myself eating steamed broccoli alone on the couch watching The Office and wishing I had someone to share the brilliant and clever things filling my head.

I was thrilled to get married and have a guaranteed conversationalist every night at dinner. Except JD worked the night shift and had dinner on the job many nights. That left me alone on the couch watching The Office with steamed broccoli. Why cook a real meal when you have no one to share it with? I hated this and looked forward to the day to have family meals around our table surrounded by talkative little ones and a loving husband, interested and hanging on to my every word.

I have a husband home for dinner every night and a talkative little one now, but most nights our dinners are a hustle of making plates, coaxing Beatrice to eat her bites and leave ours alone, all while the TV blares in the background. Conversation is nonexistent. At least the kind of conversations I dream of having are. We talk to Beatrice mostly. And on the rare occasion that she is happily eating quietly, JD and I "talk." Our conversations go something like this:

Aly: Loving Husband, what did you do today?
JD: Got my haircut.
Aly: Oh, what did Dwayne have to say?
JD: Not much.
Aly: Did you run into anyone we know at the salon?
JD: Yeah.
Aly: Oh that's nice. Who?
JD: Geri.
Aly: Do you love me?
JD: Yeah.

This drives me bonkers. I like details. I want to see the conversation come to life with each word. JD's conversations leave much to the imagination. Not to mention, it makes me feel weird that after almost 3 years of marriage, we have nothing to talk about. If the same conversation were reversed, it would go something like this:

JD: .........................
Aly: Do you want to know what I did today?
JD: Sure.
Aly: Well, I got my hair done and Dwayne was super nice and talked all about Lisa and the girls and did you know that are going to Disney next month? That would be super fun. Maybe one day we can take a family vacation to Disney. I saw Geri and Eric and the other guy that looks like Eric and ohmygosh, Shannon had these amazeballs truffles. I ate 2. Anyway, Dwayne tried a new color on my hair and I'm still deciding if I like it. What do you think? Too dark? Can you even tell? Honey? Honey, are you listening?
JD: Huh?
Aly: Dwayne says he is getting a new assistant and she used to work for him back in the day. Do you remember her? I wonder how Shannon will like her new job. Do you wonder if she'll like it? I remember how exciting and scary starting a new job is. Gosh, I bet she's excited. Honey? Are you watching the news through the reflection of the picture in the living room instead of listening to me?
JD: Yes dear. I mean no. What? That was a long story, honey. You lost me after you got your hair done.
Aly: Oh, well I wanted you to know all about my time at the salon. That's not even the whole story. Want to hear about who I saw at Starbucks and about shaky I feel after drinking coffee these days?
JD: Aly, I don't like stories. Just give me the facts. Are you done eating? Can we watch the news now?
Aly: Oh. Do you love me?
JD: Yeah.
Aly: Okay.

True story folks. Sigh. I get it. Men don't have a long attention span for a bunch of boring details that ultimately shape the entire conversation, but whatever. I suppose I will just have to wait to have those long, detailed conversations when our precious little ones are big enough to listen talk to us without making animal sounds. Or have dinner with my girlfriends. Yes, I do believe I'm on to something now.

Dawn of a New Day

When I was pregnant with Beatrice, I had terrible heartburn. The kind that required a strong prescription to give me some relief. Because of the heartburn, everyone told me that my baby would have tons of hair. They were right. She was born with a head full of thick, dark hair. Everyone told me that it would fall out if I washed it too often/played with it/looked at it. I loved her fuzzy hair so I did my best to never wash it, touch it, or look at it. Her hair did not fall out, but grew longer. Everyone told me that it would stay dark like her daddy's. When it turned blonde, everyone told me that it would fall out (again) and grow in dark. As her hair got lighter and longer, I began to think that everyone didn't no what the heck they were talking about.

Beatrice's hair has been on a journey. An awesome journey of transformation. I have written about it before. But now? We've conquered new territory. A whole new world of hairstyle opportunities has been born.

Behold, pigtails.

I can't even tell you how much these little pigtails make me happy. They are wispy and spiky and so cute. Beatrice likes them too. But don't take too many pictures of them because she will not like that.

Everyone told me I couldn't do pigtails yet. What do they know?

Good Thing She's Cute

I love having a girl. I love the smocked dresses, the hair bows, and the mary janes. I love messy ponytails, tiny painted toes, and baby dolls. I dreamed of tea parties, tiny baby strollers, and playing dress up when I was pregnant. When I found out Beatrice would be a girl, I was beyond thrilled that I was going to have a girl child for my very own. It was going to be the best thing ever.

And it is. There are 4 baby dolls that she mommies on a daily basis by giving them bottles and brushing their hair. Cutest thing ever. She loves to try on shoes and prefers polka dots on her outfits. She plays in my jewelry and loves when I give her a make up brush to play with. She is all girl. It is everything I thought it would be.

What I didn't expect when dreaming of having a girl was the drama. Lots and lots of drama. Beatrice is a drama queen. She never asks for anything, but whines and whimpers and pouts until I give her a bite/drink/hug/kiss/toy. There are shrills of displeasure when I take away something she wants/put her in her highchair/tell her no. She fake cries at everything. No really, EVERYTHING. She is so full of drama and from what I hear from mothers of boy children, this is a girl thing. How wonderful.

Most of the time, Beatrice's display of her innate girlness is just annoying. Or ridiculous. JD and I look at her, then at each other and say things like "whose child is that" and "why is she so upset over a green snack cup?" Mostly we elicit little emotion since we aren't quite sure what the big deal is anyway.

Then this happened.



Talking back at 15 months old? Is that normal? And if it is, what do I do about it? Granted, it is hilarious that one of her first 2 word sentences is "no no mama." But be assured, it won't be stood for. In my experience, children don't get away with talking back to their parents, especially tiny little girls.

So yeah, having a girl is super awesome and all but uh, I think I have my hands full.